I really don't sit around and watch movies all day, I swear. However, I did just think about the movie "Grumpy Old Men," which is a classic. In thinking about it, I googled movie quotes and Grumpy Old Men and found this site. There are also quotes from "Grumpier Old Men."
You have to have seen the movies to appreciate some of these but here are some of the quotes. HI-larious, I tell you:
1 says) I see your cat crapped on my newspaper again. 2 replies)Yeah, who says you can't train a cat?
Why don't you do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head - and swallow?
Looks like he's taking the 'ol skinboat to tunatown
I kicked your ass in 1938!
It's colder than a witch's tittie out here!
If my dog was as ugly as you, I’d shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!
HEEEEEEEEY DICKKKKKHEEAAADDDDD
If I was a strapping young lad like you, I'd be mounting every woman in Wabasha!
Does she have big thighs? No, she doesn't have big thighs. Well, then. What's the problem?
1) I have been to Hawaii! 2) Which island? 1) ComeonIwannalayya.
come-on-I'm-kinda-kinky
I-wanna-take-a-peeky
It's butt cold out here, and I'm fresh outta beer.
1. Moron! 2. Putz!
The man's a menace. Always hanging around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take off their clothes.
Watch it bonehead!
Looks like Chuck's taking ole one eye to the optometrist.
Max Goldman:(while watching TV) Oh, shut up, fat-ass!
I rather kiss a dead moose's butt!
1)Kids swallow quarters all the time. 2)Really? 1)Yeah, if she craps out two dimes and a nickel then you can start worrying.
(After being brought a light beer)What the...what the hell is this?
I weigh 90 goddamn pounds and you bring me this slop 'n foam!?
Let me tell you something, Johnny. Every morning I wake up and smoke a cig. and I eat 5 strips of BACON!...
For lunch a bacon sandwich...and for a mid-day snack BACON!! A whole damn plate and I usually drink my dinner
What do you say we go back to my place and I'll show you my man-size manacotti... eh?? Or how about my bony macaroni? Or my fatty alfredo? Or my hard salami? I've got them all...
1)Dad, I wish you'd try the low fat bacon. 2)Well you can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one gets filled faster.
He's a regular Don Juan.. no wonder the ladies Don Juan anything to do with him!
You couldn't catch crabs from a ten dollar hooker!
What's the matter beautiful? You're meaner than a dog shittin' tacks.
Jacob: Studying up on your Italian are ya? Thinking of wooing Maria? Max: Nah, just going to curse at her in her own language is all. I think she's a lesbian anyway. Jacob: How would you know? You've never seen a lesbian. Max: DID TOO! Seen 'em on Geraldo.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The MI Winter and My Experience with Poster Presentations
I'll start with something positive: the temperature rises above freezing (almost) every day.
I'll then proceed to something negative: the clouds WILL NEVER GO AWAY!
Even the native Michiganders get restless this time of year. This is when they all go on vacation....and most don't go skiing, I can promise you.
I remember when some buddies of mine and I went to Panama City for spring break when we were in college (some of us never really left college, but I digress...don't you want a spring break every year though?!??!???!!!!). I remember how many Yankees were down there. I mean those folks were EVERYWHERE!
That and people from Kentucky, who undoubtedly are some of the most backwoods folks I've ever encountered...and that's saying something. I'm fairly backwoods myself.
Anyway, lot's of Yankees. I knew why they were there. It's cold where they're from. I just didn't fully appreciate the desire they must have had to get there. I thought my friends and I were excited. We were. Afterall, we got to go down to FL and party for a week. The Yankees, they not only got to go down to FL and party for a week, but they also got to get out of these damned clouds for a week.
In other news: If you follow the blog you've read below that I get to go to D.C. to present my dissertation research. Now, this isn't a formal, stand in front of 300 people and speak presentation. This is a poster presentation. Evidently, poster presentations are the kind of presentations commonly found in the "hard science" fields (i.e. chemistry, biology, etc...). How do I know this, you may ask. I'll tell you how.
Last year I got to go to a research summit that is somewhat similar to the one I'm going to this year, although the one this year is much bigger. Last year I was asked, along with some other students, to do a poster presentation of my research. I was the only business student there. The rest of the students were from "hard science" fields. They all showed up with these 3' x 5', glossy, slick, professionally done posters to hang on the boards. I showed up looking I'd just stepped out of Sanford and Son with a bunch of posterboard cut-outs and ribbons to use as lines and connect the cut-outs. People probably thought I was from Kentucky.
Not cool.
However, nobody ever told me what a true poster presentation consisted of. I should have asked, I know.
Anyway, this year I know better and am doing the same slick, professional looking poster that I'm sure everyone else will have. I'm movin' on up like George and Weezie.
I'll then proceed to something negative: the clouds WILL NEVER GO AWAY!
Even the native Michiganders get restless this time of year. This is when they all go on vacation....and most don't go skiing, I can promise you.
I remember when some buddies of mine and I went to Panama City for spring break when we were in college (some of us never really left college, but I digress...don't you want a spring break every year though?!??!???!!!!). I remember how many Yankees were down there. I mean those folks were EVERYWHERE!
That and people from Kentucky, who undoubtedly are some of the most backwoods folks I've ever encountered...and that's saying something. I'm fairly backwoods myself.
Anyway, lot's of Yankees. I knew why they were there. It's cold where they're from. I just didn't fully appreciate the desire they must have had to get there. I thought my friends and I were excited. We were. Afterall, we got to go down to FL and party for a week. The Yankees, they not only got to go down to FL and party for a week, but they also got to get out of these damned clouds for a week.
In other news: If you follow the blog you've read below that I get to go to D.C. to present my dissertation research. Now, this isn't a formal, stand in front of 300 people and speak presentation. This is a poster presentation. Evidently, poster presentations are the kind of presentations commonly found in the "hard science" fields (i.e. chemistry, biology, etc...). How do I know this, you may ask. I'll tell you how.
Last year I got to go to a research summit that is somewhat similar to the one I'm going to this year, although the one this year is much bigger. Last year I was asked, along with some other students, to do a poster presentation of my research. I was the only business student there. The rest of the students were from "hard science" fields. They all showed up with these 3' x 5', glossy, slick, professionally done posters to hang on the boards. I showed up looking I'd just stepped out of Sanford and Son with a bunch of posterboard cut-outs and ribbons to use as lines and connect the cut-outs. People probably thought I was from Kentucky.
Not cool.
However, nobody ever told me what a true poster presentation consisted of. I should have asked, I know.
Anyway, this year I know better and am doing the same slick, professional looking poster that I'm sure everyone else will have. I'm movin' on up like George and Weezie.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Junior Says Daddy Just Isn't the Same
I've said before in this blog (I think) that after Junior was born, Mother Nature was pretty much through with me for a couple of years. Well, not COMPLETELY through with me but Nature just wants me to go out and kill something for dinner. Mammas do babies. Daddys do dinner. This is my opinion of how nature works because I don't think that we, as dads, are as good at taking care of babies as Mammas are.
Well, Junior supported my hypothesis. Allow me to set the stage: Junior is laying in his crib this weekend, happy as a puppy with two peters, when all of a sudden he decides that laying down isn't cutting the mustard anymore. Mamma is in the kitchen doing her mamma thing so I take it upon myself to go get Junior, pick him up, and try to comfort him (read: try to get that crying to stop at all costs). Well, obviously I forgot to put on deoderant b/c Junior was having none of my smelly self. He kept on keeping on with his balling.
I've also said before that I'm not the most patient of people. It takes me approximately 30 seconds to reach the point where I've had enough crying. Surprisingly, I pushed my tolerance limit to about 5 minutes in this case. At which point Junior is still not "comforted" (read: ceased the crying).
At this point, Mamma saw that Junior wasn't "comforted" and I certainly wasn't "comfortable", so she stops what she's doing and comes to get him. When she took him, it was like someone flipped switch. The clouds parted, the sun shone through, and Junior (quietly!) snuggled in.
I can't say as I blame him. If I had a choice of snuggling up to my armpit, or snuggling up to Mamma's boob, I'd choose Mamma's boob too. He's a smart kid.
However, this just goes to show you once again that Mammas are made for this type of thing. Even babies recognize this fact.
Now, Junior and I often get good quality time where he's happy with me. I'm not trying to imply that the above applies in every situation. I'm just saying that when worse comes to worse, when the breaks get the boys (to quote Ronald Reagan as George Gipp in "Knute Rockne-All American"), Junior says "hand me to Mamma and win just one for the Gipper!"
...and I'm cool with that!
Now, if you'll pardon me, I've got to go out and kill some dinner.
Well, Junior supported my hypothesis. Allow me to set the stage: Junior is laying in his crib this weekend, happy as a puppy with two peters, when all of a sudden he decides that laying down isn't cutting the mustard anymore. Mamma is in the kitchen doing her mamma thing so I take it upon myself to go get Junior, pick him up, and try to comfort him (read: try to get that crying to stop at all costs). Well, obviously I forgot to put on deoderant b/c Junior was having none of my smelly self. He kept on keeping on with his balling.
I've also said before that I'm not the most patient of people. It takes me approximately 30 seconds to reach the point where I've had enough crying. Surprisingly, I pushed my tolerance limit to about 5 minutes in this case. At which point Junior is still not "comforted" (read: ceased the crying).
At this point, Mamma saw that Junior wasn't "comforted" and I certainly wasn't "comfortable", so she stops what she's doing and comes to get him. When she took him, it was like someone flipped switch. The clouds parted, the sun shone through, and Junior (quietly!) snuggled in.
I can't say as I blame him. If I had a choice of snuggling up to my armpit, or snuggling up to Mamma's boob, I'd choose Mamma's boob too. He's a smart kid.
However, this just goes to show you once again that Mammas are made for this type of thing. Even babies recognize this fact.
Now, Junior and I often get good quality time where he's happy with me. I'm not trying to imply that the above applies in every situation. I'm just saying that when worse comes to worse, when the breaks get the boys (to quote Ronald Reagan as George Gipp in "Knute Rockne-All American"), Junior says "hand me to Mamma and win just one for the Gipper!"
...and I'm cool with that!
Now, if you'll pardon me, I've got to go out and kill some dinner.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Movie Review with a Political Twist
Just watched "Babel" with Brad Pitt.
I'm not completely sure what to think about it. On one hand it was a well done movie.
On the other hand there was a lot of VERY weird stuff in it of a sexual nature.
For example:
A teenage boy watching his sister naked
A naked teenage Japanese girl throwing herself at a policeman and (clothed this time) licking her dentist's face trying to get both of them to have sex with her.
Etc...
I could name more, but that's probably enough.
The thing is, the movie didn't have to have these things in it. Perhaps the stuff with the Japanese girl punctuated the point that she was crazy as a poop house rat, but there are other ways to make that point.
I also can't quite figure out if the movie was trying to get the audience to focus on communication differences, as the title may suggest and as the movie itself suggests, or if the movie was trying to make a political statement about guns/gun proliferation and U.S. immigration policies. My guess is that, since Hollywood folks are weird, the answer is probably D) All of the above.
If you ever want to figure out who to vote for in the next election, you should begin by looking at who the Hollywood elite is supporting and then DO NOT VOTE FOR THAT PERSON. That doesn't mean you SHOULD vote for some of the folks they are NOT supporting, but DEFINITELY DO NOT VOTE FOR WHO THOSE FREAKS THINK SHOULD RUN OUR COUNTRY.
Californication is not a good thing.
I'm not completely sure what to think about it. On one hand it was a well done movie.
On the other hand there was a lot of VERY weird stuff in it of a sexual nature.
For example:
A teenage boy watching his sister naked
A naked teenage Japanese girl throwing herself at a policeman and (clothed this time) licking her dentist's face trying to get both of them to have sex with her.
Etc...
I could name more, but that's probably enough.
The thing is, the movie didn't have to have these things in it. Perhaps the stuff with the Japanese girl punctuated the point that she was crazy as a poop house rat, but there are other ways to make that point.
I also can't quite figure out if the movie was trying to get the audience to focus on communication differences, as the title may suggest and as the movie itself suggests, or if the movie was trying to make a political statement about guns/gun proliferation and U.S. immigration policies. My guess is that, since Hollywood folks are weird, the answer is probably D) All of the above.
If you ever want to figure out who to vote for in the next election, you should begin by looking at who the Hollywood elite is supporting and then DO NOT VOTE FOR THAT PERSON. That doesn't mean you SHOULD vote for some of the folks they are NOT supporting, but DEFINITELY DO NOT VOTE FOR WHO THOSE FREAKS THINK SHOULD RUN OUR COUNTRY.
Californication is not a good thing.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
New Basketball Coach
OK, so Stan Heath didn't even take part in the post game press conference after the game today. Ya think he knows he's about to get a steel toe up his hind quarters?
I'm hearing all kinds of statments being thrown about that the UA is FINALLY going to pony up and get an ESTABLISHED head coach. I'll believe it when I see it but SUPPOSEDLY, Bill Self (KU) might be interested along with Billy Gillespie (TX A&M). IF, and I stress IF the UA does pony up and get a decent coach, I'll be AMAZED!
I think it might actually happen this time around, though. Stay tuned.
I'm hearing all kinds of statments being thrown about that the UA is FINALLY going to pony up and get an ESTABLISHED head coach. I'll believe it when I see it but SUPPOSEDLY, Bill Self (KU) might be interested along with Billy Gillespie (TX A&M). IF, and I stress IF the UA does pony up and get a decent coach, I'll be AMAZED!
I think it might actually happen this time around, though. Stay tuned.
Saturday Morning
Pappa's in charge of the house this AM.
Mamma's out getting her harr and fangers done (you like that don't you?!).
Junior started crying and I told him to stop whining and give me 20. He didn't listen. Pappa loses again.
By the way, is "Pappa" spelled with 1 "p" or 2? In other words, should it be "papa"? I think it should but I'm not changing. Too late now.
Mamma's out getting her harr and fangers done (you like that don't you?!).
Junior started crying and I told him to stop whining and give me 20. He didn't listen. Pappa loses again.
By the way, is "Pappa" spelled with 1 "p" or 2? In other words, should it be "papa"? I think it should but I'm not changing. Too late now.
Friday, February 23, 2007
I'm Worldwide, Baby!!
Just got word that I get an all expenses paid trip to Washington D.C. to present my dissertation results at a Department of Homeland Security conference in March!!!
Can I get a "Wooo Pig!" from the congregation?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!
Can I get a "Wooo Pig!" from the congregation?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!
I'm Slacking
Forgot to put an entry up yesterday. VERY busy at work.
Here's the latest:
Junior has started making "giggle" noises, or so Mamma says. I haven't heard it yet. I don't think he's giggling at anything in particular but giggles are giggles.
Stan Heath/The Hogs lost at Auburn the other day. This means the Hogs stand about as much chance of making the NCAA's as I do of playing basketball for the Hogs. Stan Heath is gone. Look for TX A&M's Gillespie to get a call.
Got the home inspection back. Nothing major there to fix. Homeowners are supposed to fix what is there before closing (4/30).
Life's good in MI. The sun is out today, afterall, and the high is above freezing.
Here's the latest:
Junior has started making "giggle" noises, or so Mamma says. I haven't heard it yet. I don't think he's giggling at anything in particular but giggles are giggles.
Stan Heath/The Hogs lost at Auburn the other day. This means the Hogs stand about as much chance of making the NCAA's as I do of playing basketball for the Hogs. Stan Heath is gone. Look for TX A&M's Gillespie to get a call.
Got the home inspection back. Nothing major there to fix. Homeowners are supposed to fix what is there before closing (4/30).
Life's good in MI. The sun is out today, afterall, and the high is above freezing.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Stan Heath
Hogs don't win tonight means Hogs don't make the tournament.
Hogs don't make the tournament means Stan Heath is history.
Book it.
I'm a fan of Heath as a person. As a coach? Not so much.
If you want Stan to stay, you'd better hope the Hogs win on the road tonight....ain't gonna happen I'm afraid.
Hogs don't make the tournament means Stan Heath is history.
Book it.
I'm a fan of Heath as a person. As a coach? Not so much.
If you want Stan to stay, you'd better hope the Hogs win on the road tonight....ain't gonna happen I'm afraid.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Immunizations
Junior got some immunizations today. I didn't go. Junior drove himself. Well, actually mamma took him. Evidently there was some blood curdling screaming.
That's the bad part.
The good part is that he's been sleepy the rest of the day. Junior usually fights sleep during the day so this is a good thing. It was especially a good thing b/c Mamma took some time to herself tonight and went to Kroger (some folks go to a bar, some folks go on vacation, Mamma goes to K-Roger). That means that yours truly was in charge of Junior for a couple of hours. He slept in that baby swing thing the whole time.
I got off easy on that one!!!
That's the bad part.
The good part is that he's been sleepy the rest of the day. Junior usually fights sleep during the day so this is a good thing. It was especially a good thing b/c Mamma took some time to herself tonight and went to Kroger (some folks go to a bar, some folks go on vacation, Mamma goes to K-Roger). That means that yours truly was in charge of Junior for a couple of hours. He slept in that baby swing thing the whole time.
I got off easy on that one!!!
Some GOOD (relatively) MI Weather
Yesterday was the first time in 21 days (read that again: 21 days!!) that the temperature has gotten above freezing in MI and, let me tell you, it was a glorious occasion.
I post bad things about MI weather frequently, so I'll post something good: Yesterday was AWESOME! High of 42 degrees. It felt like summer to those of us used to highs of one degree. Most of you would say a partly sunny day with a high of 42 is just so so. I'm telling you it's heaven on Earth. HEAVEN I TELL YOU!!!!
Further, the highs for the next 10 days are ALL ABOVE FREEZING! I might not even wear a coat in the afternoon. If I owned a speedo, I'd wear it.....
Not really.
I post bad things about MI weather frequently, so I'll post something good: Yesterday was AWESOME! High of 42 degrees. It felt like summer to those of us used to highs of one degree. Most of you would say a partly sunny day with a high of 42 is just so so. I'm telling you it's heaven on Earth. HEAVEN I TELL YOU!!!!
Further, the highs for the next 10 days are ALL ABOVE FREEZING! I might not even wear a coat in the afternoon. If I owned a speedo, I'd wear it.....
Not really.
Monday, February 19, 2007
The Godfather of Soul has Left the Building
As most of you Hogs fans know, J. Frank Broyles formally announced his retirement on Saturday. This is both a happy and sad day in Hogland.
Throughout the years, JFB has been the face of Arkansas Athletics. One article I read today summed a few things up nicely:
1. JFB is to Arkansas Athletics what Sam Walton was to Arkansas Business
2. JFB's primary flaw is that every coach that worked for him wasn't Frank Broyles.
Sidenote: It's sad that it takes a columnist from AL to write a good article on Broyles. Our sorry excuse for a sports editor at the ADG is just that.
JFB's retirement is sad b/c it marks the turning of a page. JFB came to AR in 1957 as a John Barnhill hire. Since that time, his tenure was marked by great success (shared national championship in 1964, 22 game win streak, the hire of several great coaches including Lou Holtz, Ken Hatfield, Eddie Sutton, Nolan Richardson, and John McDonnel, the construction of arguably the finest collection of facilities in the nation) and several great failures (running off many of these coaches by meddling). At the ripe young age of 30, there has been no time in my life where JFB wasn't the Head Hog. Change, even if it is for the better, is often sad. I'm sad to see JFB go b/c it does mark a turning of the page.
However, I'm happy to see JFB go for many reasons as well. AR has a lot of potential, but with JFB at the helm we will never be able to hire a top notch football coach. Why? Top notch football coaches want to run their program the way they see fit. You can't hire a "run-first" coach and then force him to hire a "pass-first" offensive coordinator (i.e. Danny Ford/Kay Stephenson and Houston Nutt/Gus Malzahn) at the first sign of trouble. JFB tried to do the same thing to Hatfield but Hatfield left for Clemson instead.
You see, JFB's management style was his greatest shortcoming. When you hire someone to do a job, you let them do that job as they see fit. JFB has every right to make suggestions but does not have the right to force these suggestions down the head coach's throat. If the coach does not take the suggestions, and consequently doesn't win enough games, that coach gets fired. If the coach takes the suggestions, and consequently doesn't win enough games, that coach gets fired. Whether the coach takes the suggestions or not, if he wins enough games, he should be retained.
It's all about winning games. Nothing more. Nothing less.
In my opinion the role of an AD is to make it easy for a coach to succeed by providing resources that are conducinve to success.
Another reason we would never be able to hire a top notch coach with JFB at the helm is because JFB was highly reluctant to spend the money required to hire an established coach. While JFB holds the view that you should hire a coach with head coaching experience, he also holds the view that you should hire an up and comer. That's fine, but that is also a more risky path.
I think Houston Nutt has turned out well given the hurdles he has had to overcome and, make no mistake, these hurdles have been substantial (i.e. poor facilities at the beginning, NCAA investiagation, etc...). We now get to see how HDN runs his team without interference from above, although HDN is a "pleaser" (by his own words) and seemed more amenable to JFB's interference than most would be.
Another cause for concern with regard to JFB's departure is that it leaves a substantial power void at the top of Razorback Athletics (and the State for that matter). I hope that John White's power was diminished enough via his last attempt to oust JFB that there will be checks and balances as to who he hires as the next AD. It is widely known that White previously wanted Bev Louis, the current womens AD, to take over for Broyles. The women's program is not exactly in top notch shape.
In sum, we should all appreciate what JFB has done. We should all be concerned over what his departure means for the Razorbacks. We should also be hopeful that this change is for the better. If we can hire someone with JFB's good qualities, without his bad qualities, many good years are ahead for the Razorback Nation.
This change is for the better.
Throughout the years, JFB has been the face of Arkansas Athletics. One article I read today summed a few things up nicely:
1. JFB is to Arkansas Athletics what Sam Walton was to Arkansas Business
2. JFB's primary flaw is that every coach that worked for him wasn't Frank Broyles.
Sidenote: It's sad that it takes a columnist from AL to write a good article on Broyles. Our sorry excuse for a sports editor at the ADG is just that.
JFB's retirement is sad b/c it marks the turning of a page. JFB came to AR in 1957 as a John Barnhill hire. Since that time, his tenure was marked by great success (shared national championship in 1964, 22 game win streak, the hire of several great coaches including Lou Holtz, Ken Hatfield, Eddie Sutton, Nolan Richardson, and John McDonnel, the construction of arguably the finest collection of facilities in the nation) and several great failures (running off many of these coaches by meddling). At the ripe young age of 30, there has been no time in my life where JFB wasn't the Head Hog. Change, even if it is for the better, is often sad. I'm sad to see JFB go b/c it does mark a turning of the page.
However, I'm happy to see JFB go for many reasons as well. AR has a lot of potential, but with JFB at the helm we will never be able to hire a top notch football coach. Why? Top notch football coaches want to run their program the way they see fit. You can't hire a "run-first" coach and then force him to hire a "pass-first" offensive coordinator (i.e. Danny Ford/Kay Stephenson and Houston Nutt/Gus Malzahn) at the first sign of trouble. JFB tried to do the same thing to Hatfield but Hatfield left for Clemson instead.
You see, JFB's management style was his greatest shortcoming. When you hire someone to do a job, you let them do that job as they see fit. JFB has every right to make suggestions but does not have the right to force these suggestions down the head coach's throat. If the coach does not take the suggestions, and consequently doesn't win enough games, that coach gets fired. If the coach takes the suggestions, and consequently doesn't win enough games, that coach gets fired. Whether the coach takes the suggestions or not, if he wins enough games, he should be retained.
It's all about winning games. Nothing more. Nothing less.
In my opinion the role of an AD is to make it easy for a coach to succeed by providing resources that are conducinve to success.
Another reason we would never be able to hire a top notch coach with JFB at the helm is because JFB was highly reluctant to spend the money required to hire an established coach. While JFB holds the view that you should hire a coach with head coaching experience, he also holds the view that you should hire an up and comer. That's fine, but that is also a more risky path.
I think Houston Nutt has turned out well given the hurdles he has had to overcome and, make no mistake, these hurdles have been substantial (i.e. poor facilities at the beginning, NCAA investiagation, etc...). We now get to see how HDN runs his team without interference from above, although HDN is a "pleaser" (by his own words) and seemed more amenable to JFB's interference than most would be.
Another cause for concern with regard to JFB's departure is that it leaves a substantial power void at the top of Razorback Athletics (and the State for that matter). I hope that John White's power was diminished enough via his last attempt to oust JFB that there will be checks and balances as to who he hires as the next AD. It is widely known that White previously wanted Bev Louis, the current womens AD, to take over for Broyles. The women's program is not exactly in top notch shape.
In sum, we should all appreciate what JFB has done. We should all be concerned over what his departure means for the Razorbacks. We should also be hopeful that this change is for the better. If we can hire someone with JFB's good qualities, without his bad qualities, many good years are ahead for the Razorback Nation.
This change is for the better.
Friday, February 16, 2007
We're Back!
Well, Mamma, Junior, and I have returned from house hunting in AR. If you want to see the house, click HERE. Click on the picture of the home for more pictures.
We began our house hunting trip by looking at a couple of "starter" homes. I call them starter homes not because they are truly starter homes. Nothing could be further from the truth. When I think of starter homes, I think of a semi-run down, one bedroom house with several other noticeable problems. However, I'll call these starter homes because, in context, they were smaller and needed some work. Now, smaller is of course relative as well. These houses ranged from about 1500+ sq. ft. Not a bad size at all.
Anyway, we began by looking at those homes and saw two that we would have strongly considered until....our realtor showed us the one above and we were blown away. It is EXACTLY what we were looking for. It's a little bit bigger (1973 sq. feet), new (5 years old but the previous residents have no kids and the house is VERY "lightly lived in"), and in a good neighborhood.
We continued looking at houses for the rest of the day but didn't see anything else that really compared with this one. So we decided to make an offer. The next day we brought up our respective families, got their input on the house, and made the offer. First, Mamma and I are very thankful that we had the input of our families. From a real estate standpoint, my family gave some invaluable input on the house and the home purchasing/negotiating process. Mamma and I then had a brief conversation about how much we wanted to offer and what conditions we wanted on the contract.
We made an offer that took into account the advice we received from our families and also one that took into account our own views and goals. Less than 2 hrs after making the offer, our realtor (I'm not capitalizing that out of principle) called us back to let us know that our offer had been verbally accepted.
Anyway, we couldn't be happier.
Additionally, Junior got to meet the family. Everyone approved of him as well, not that that is a big surprise.
If you're reading this, and you're a friend of ours who lives in LR, we're sorry that we didn't call you. This trip, like so many others that have preceeded it, was VERY busy and didn't allow much time for socializing. If it makes you feel any better, we didn't call ANYONE. Sorry, but we promise to be better friends when we move down there permanantly.
At any rate, it was a very painless and straight forward process thanks to the help of our families and realtor. We close on April 30th. We move in late May/early July and are excited about seeing all of you more often.
Best,
Pappa
We began our house hunting trip by looking at a couple of "starter" homes. I call them starter homes not because they are truly starter homes. Nothing could be further from the truth. When I think of starter homes, I think of a semi-run down, one bedroom house with several other noticeable problems. However, I'll call these starter homes because, in context, they were smaller and needed some work. Now, smaller is of course relative as well. These houses ranged from about 1500+ sq. ft. Not a bad size at all.
Anyway, we began by looking at those homes and saw two that we would have strongly considered until....our realtor showed us the one above and we were blown away. It is EXACTLY what we were looking for. It's a little bit bigger (1973 sq. feet), new (5 years old but the previous residents have no kids and the house is VERY "lightly lived in"), and in a good neighborhood.
We continued looking at houses for the rest of the day but didn't see anything else that really compared with this one. So we decided to make an offer. The next day we brought up our respective families, got their input on the house, and made the offer. First, Mamma and I are very thankful that we had the input of our families. From a real estate standpoint, my family gave some invaluable input on the house and the home purchasing/negotiating process. Mamma and I then had a brief conversation about how much we wanted to offer and what conditions we wanted on the contract.
We made an offer that took into account the advice we received from our families and also one that took into account our own views and goals. Less than 2 hrs after making the offer, our realtor (I'm not capitalizing that out of principle) called us back to let us know that our offer had been verbally accepted.
Anyway, we couldn't be happier.
Additionally, Junior got to meet the family. Everyone approved of him as well, not that that is a big surprise.
If you're reading this, and you're a friend of ours who lives in LR, we're sorry that we didn't call you. This trip, like so many others that have preceeded it, was VERY busy and didn't allow much time for socializing. If it makes you feel any better, we didn't call ANYONE. Sorry, but we promise to be better friends when we move down there permanantly.
At any rate, it was a very painless and straight forward process thanks to the help of our families and realtor. We close on April 30th. We move in late May/early July and are excited about seeing all of you more often.
Best,
Pappa
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Blogging break
Sorry for no posts the last two days. Very busy at work. Going home tomorrow to house hunt. Will see some of you while we're there.
Rooting in Snow is on vacation for a week or so. Check back at the end of next week.
Best,
Pappa
Rooting in Snow is on vacation for a week or so. Check back at the end of next week.
Best,
Pappa
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Monday, February 5, 2007
Climate Change
At the risk of posting two entries in one day, I submit to you this piece about climate change, or lack thereof, and the "solid science" used to determine its relevance in our world.
CLICK ME
CLICK ME
Weekend at the Root House
It was a lazy weekend at the Root House. The most productive thing I did yesterday was clean dog snot off of the sliding glass door that leads out to the porch. Let me clarify, I cleaned dog snot off of the INSIDE of the sliding glass door. It was 1 degree outside. That's right. ONE FREAKING DEGREE. We can't even get plural degrees. Just one. Singular. Since there was only one degree out there yesterday I claimed that one degree as my own like I had just settled a new colony.
I hereby claim this degree in the name of the queen and name it "New Rootville"
Let me also fill you in on the nuances of dog snot. First of all, the reason there is/was vast quantities of dog snot on our sliding glass door is b/c this door faces the street. When Bailey is bored, she sits at this door, evidently with her nose pressed against it at all times, and watches for whomever or whatever passes by. The rest of the time she chews on carpet. Our carpet looks like someone went on an archeological dig.
Bailey the archaeologist says (and I quote), "Hmmm, I wonder if there could be any tasty morsels under this square foot of carpet?"
(insert noise of a dog sticking snout to carpet, pulling carpet up, shaking head like an alligator that has just captured some food, and tossing pieces of carpet to and fro)
"Nope, nothing to eat here. I think I'll go put some more snot on the door. That sounds entertaining."
Second of all, dog snot is undoubtedly pretty easy to clean up when fresh. This dog snot was not fresh. Mamma asked me to clean the dog snot up a LONG time ago. ADD kicked in again and I, of course, forgot. Undoubtedly I was distracted by something vastly more important like, I don't know, sitting on my tail end shoving cheesy poofs down my craw and watching American Chopper. By the way, American Chopper is the best show on TV, but I'll get into that in another post.
I'm convinced that the Army could use dog snot as tank armor. Windex is powerless against its concrete-like properties. After scrubbing for about 20 minutes I gave up on the Windex and went to get the spare car battery we keep in the closet so I could harness the acid contained therein and dump it on the dog snot. Ok, I didn't really do that and we don't really keep a car battery in our closet, but I did go get the mildew remover spray and it worked pretty derned well.
However, for those of you keeping track at home, dog snot sucks.
Mamma, Junior, and I watched the Super Bowl yesterday. Good game, if a little sloppy (like dog snot). The Bears should have won except they have a quarterback that is better suited for butter carving than throwing a football.
I made a few predictions on the game but I think my final one was that the Colts would win but the Bears would cover the 6.5 spread. I would have been right if Margie the Butter Artist (i.e. Grossman) hadn't thrown a pick that was returned for a TD.
That boy had better not get on that plane back to Chi-Town, b/c really, there's no reason to. His house probably got burned down last night.
On Saturday I went to a local meat market and bought some snacks for us to eat during the game. One of my purchases was a 1/2 lb of pepperoni. It was gooooood...until I realized that I had eaten way to much of it. You know when you get a pepperoni pizza and it comes out and has all that grease on top? I normally take a napkin and dab that stuff off. However, when you eat the pepperoni cold, the grease doesn't "pool". Thus, after I finished a few (read: a lot) pieces of pepperoni, fixed some bruschetta with pepperoni and then subsequently ate too much of that, I felt like I had just gone face down in a five-gallon bucket of Crisco.
I felt like unmitigated poo poo. Mamma didn't eat as much as I did, but she didn't feel well either. Not like food poisoning "not feel well". Just I've got 2 lbs of lard sitting on my belly "not feel well."
There's a reason my body is shaped like Bobby from King of the Hill.
Anyway, dog snot gone. I'm over the lard induced sickness. I'm back at work. Case closed.
I hereby claim this degree in the name of the queen and name it "New Rootville"
Let me also fill you in on the nuances of dog snot. First of all, the reason there is/was vast quantities of dog snot on our sliding glass door is b/c this door faces the street. When Bailey is bored, she sits at this door, evidently with her nose pressed against it at all times, and watches for whomever or whatever passes by. The rest of the time she chews on carpet. Our carpet looks like someone went on an archeological dig.
Bailey the archaeologist says (and I quote), "Hmmm, I wonder if there could be any tasty morsels under this square foot of carpet?"
(insert noise of a dog sticking snout to carpet, pulling carpet up, shaking head like an alligator that has just captured some food, and tossing pieces of carpet to and fro)
"Nope, nothing to eat here. I think I'll go put some more snot on the door. That sounds entertaining."
Second of all, dog snot is undoubtedly pretty easy to clean up when fresh. This dog snot was not fresh. Mamma asked me to clean the dog snot up a LONG time ago. ADD kicked in again and I, of course, forgot. Undoubtedly I was distracted by something vastly more important like, I don't know, sitting on my tail end shoving cheesy poofs down my craw and watching American Chopper. By the way, American Chopper is the best show on TV, but I'll get into that in another post.
I'm convinced that the Army could use dog snot as tank armor. Windex is powerless against its concrete-like properties. After scrubbing for about 20 minutes I gave up on the Windex and went to get the spare car battery we keep in the closet so I could harness the acid contained therein and dump it on the dog snot. Ok, I didn't really do that and we don't really keep a car battery in our closet, but I did go get the mildew remover spray and it worked pretty derned well.
However, for those of you keeping track at home, dog snot sucks.
Mamma, Junior, and I watched the Super Bowl yesterday. Good game, if a little sloppy (like dog snot). The Bears should have won except they have a quarterback that is better suited for butter carving than throwing a football.
I made a few predictions on the game but I think my final one was that the Colts would win but the Bears would cover the 6.5 spread. I would have been right if Margie the Butter Artist (i.e. Grossman) hadn't thrown a pick that was returned for a TD.
That boy had better not get on that plane back to Chi-Town, b/c really, there's no reason to. His house probably got burned down last night.
On Saturday I went to a local meat market and bought some snacks for us to eat during the game. One of my purchases was a 1/2 lb of pepperoni. It was gooooood...until I realized that I had eaten way to much of it. You know when you get a pepperoni pizza and it comes out and has all that grease on top? I normally take a napkin and dab that stuff off. However, when you eat the pepperoni cold, the grease doesn't "pool". Thus, after I finished a few (read: a lot) pieces of pepperoni, fixed some bruschetta with pepperoni and then subsequently ate too much of that, I felt like I had just gone face down in a five-gallon bucket of Crisco.
I felt like unmitigated poo poo. Mamma didn't eat as much as I did, but she didn't feel well either. Not like food poisoning "not feel well". Just I've got 2 lbs of lard sitting on my belly "not feel well."
There's a reason my body is shaped like Bobby from King of the Hill.
Anyway, dog snot gone. I'm over the lard induced sickness. I'm back at work. Case closed.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Goal Setting
Setting goals is important. We should all strive to improve our lot in life in some shape, form, or fashion. A man without a mission is no more useful than that fuzzy thing in the back of my refrigerator.
However, I infrequently made the concious effort to set goals until I came up here.
Therefore, I hereby knight thee (sic) a fuzzy piece of meat in the back of the fridge.
ALL HAIL PAPPA THE GOAL-LESS FUZZY MEAT!!!!
We now return to your regularly scheduled rant:
I never sat down and said, my goal is to go back to school. Now, I did say a couple of times that it would be cool to be a college professor but I never really said, "My goal is to be a college professor." In typical fashion, for me, I just decided I was going to go to school again and dumb lucked into good things.
God takes care of widows and fools. My grandmother likes to say she's both. I'm just one.
When I arrived in MI I began setting goals but these goals aren't what you might think they would be. I never set a goal of making straight A's while I was up here. I never set a goal of being a better husband (I'm perfect as it is...right?).
No, no, no. My goals are much more remedial than that and involve places I would like to live (read: characteristics of places I would like to live that are diametrically opposed to the characteristics of MI). Let me help you understand why I might have these goals. Reference the following high and low temperatures forecasted for Central MI.
SAT
13°F
-2°F
SUN
7°F
-1°F
MON
10°F
3°F
TUE
13°F
7°F
WED
16°F
6°F
THU
20°F
15°F
FRI
27°F
14°F
That's cold! Now back to the previous discussion of goals.
There is a river here that runs through campus. I walked over a bridge that passes over this river my first winter in MI and there were kids PLAYING HOCKEY ON THE FROZEN RIVER!!! Needless to say, this is not something you commonly see in AR, which leads to several goals:
Goal #1,343: Live someplace where bodies of water do not freeze to the extent that you may play hockey on them.
Goal #4,209: Live someplace where the average person cannot reasonably justify purchasing their own, personal pair of ice skates.
Goal #5,784: Live someplace where hockey is a relative afterthought.
There are several other goals:
Our apartment complex is opening it's own skating rink:
Goal #3,254: Live someplace where apartment complexes don't operate their own damned skating rinks.
This brings up the skate issue again. The apartment complex expects you to provide your own skates:
Goal #229: Live someplace where your apartment complex would never think that enough of their residents would own their own ice skates that said complex could just open a rink and say, "Come and get 'em!"
Further:
Goal #254: Live someplace where the following words seldom (read: NOT annually) come out of your mouth: "I sure will be ready for a day over 20 degrees."
Goal #421: Live someplace where the following words NEVER come out of your mouth: "I sure will be ready to see grass again. This snow has been on the ground for a month now."
With regard to food: MI has a strong northern European influence and hence the food is about as flavorful as a piece of posterboard.
Goal #832: Live someplace where people realize that the spice trade routes are now WIDE OPEN and you don't have to hire a world renowned explorer to get spices any more.
I'm sure I'll remember/think of more. When I do, you'll be the first to know. Ok, maybe you'll be the first. You'll be in the top 10. I promise.
However, I infrequently made the concious effort to set goals until I came up here.
Therefore, I hereby knight thee (sic) a fuzzy piece of meat in the back of the fridge.
ALL HAIL PAPPA THE GOAL-LESS FUZZY MEAT!!!!
We now return to your regularly scheduled rant:
I never sat down and said, my goal is to go back to school. Now, I did say a couple of times that it would be cool to be a college professor but I never really said, "My goal is to be a college professor." In typical fashion, for me, I just decided I was going to go to school again and dumb lucked into good things.
God takes care of widows and fools. My grandmother likes to say she's both. I'm just one.
When I arrived in MI I began setting goals but these goals aren't what you might think they would be. I never set a goal of making straight A's while I was up here. I never set a goal of being a better husband (I'm perfect as it is...right?).
No, no, no. My goals are much more remedial than that and involve places I would like to live (read: characteristics of places I would like to live that are diametrically opposed to the characteristics of MI). Let me help you understand why I might have these goals. Reference the following high and low temperatures forecasted for Central MI.
SAT
13°F
-2°F
SUN
7°F
-1°F
MON
10°F
3°F
TUE
13°F
7°F
WED
16°F
6°F
THU
20°F
15°F
FRI
27°F
14°F
That's cold! Now back to the previous discussion of goals.
There is a river here that runs through campus. I walked over a bridge that passes over this river my first winter in MI and there were kids PLAYING HOCKEY ON THE FROZEN RIVER!!! Needless to say, this is not something you commonly see in AR, which leads to several goals:
Goal #1,343: Live someplace where bodies of water do not freeze to the extent that you may play hockey on them.
Goal #4,209: Live someplace where the average person cannot reasonably justify purchasing their own, personal pair of ice skates.
Goal #5,784: Live someplace where hockey is a relative afterthought.
There are several other goals:
Our apartment complex is opening it's own skating rink:
Goal #3,254: Live someplace where apartment complexes don't operate their own damned skating rinks.
This brings up the skate issue again. The apartment complex expects you to provide your own skates:
Goal #229: Live someplace where your apartment complex would never think that enough of their residents would own their own ice skates that said complex could just open a rink and say, "Come and get 'em!"
Further:
Goal #254: Live someplace where the following words seldom (read: NOT annually) come out of your mouth: "I sure will be ready for a day over 20 degrees."
Goal #421: Live someplace where the following words NEVER come out of your mouth: "I sure will be ready to see grass again. This snow has been on the ground for a month now."
With regard to food: MI has a strong northern European influence and hence the food is about as flavorful as a piece of posterboard.
Goal #832: Live someplace where people realize that the spice trade routes are now WIDE OPEN and you don't have to hire a world renowned explorer to get spices any more.
I'm sure I'll remember/think of more. When I do, you'll be the first to know. Ok, maybe you'll be the first. You'll be in the top 10. I promise.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Michael Vick...Really?
For those of you who may not be familiar with the situation, Michael Vick, the quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, was detained in the Miami airport b/c his water bottle smelled of marijuana.
Below is an SNL weekend update skit poking fun at Mr. Vick. Pretty funny if I don't say so myself.
Below is an SNL weekend update skit poking fun at Mr. Vick. Pretty funny if I don't say so myself.
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