Blogging Break

Howdy,

This blog is going on break for a few weeks. I have too much to do at work this week. We're moving on Friday. We're moving into our house next week. Too much going on.

When I return, this blog will be updated less frequently and primarily focus on Junior updates. Most of the previous posts will be taken down due to my new position as a public employee and my tendency to say things that are not so "politically correct".

Thanks for reading and best wishes to all of you.

Pappa

Alltel Buyout

Looks like the Alltel deal has finally been consummated. Click me.

Since this deal was GOING to happen at some point, for whatever reason, this is the best case scenario for Alltel's employees. It is likely that Corp will remain in LR, at least that would be my opinion anyway.

Good for those of us with a pittance of Alltel stock as well. I won't complain about that.

Cleaning Up

The war zone chaotic apartment got cleaned up last night. Now it's less of a war zone chaotic apartment and more of a demilitarized zone humble, yet sparse place to live for the next week.

I feel a lot better. There was too much crap strewn everywhere. I couldn't handle it. We're at a point now where the movers could come and, minus one box of kitchen stuff, load up and go. Really. I think we're finally there.

I'm typically a pretty optimistic person. When we began the packing process I told Mamma that we really didn't have that much stuff to pack b/c that's just how I view things. I always see big projects as really not that big of a deal.

Well, in one sense I was right. Compared to most folks, we really didn't have that much stuff to pack. However, that doesn't mean that there wasn't a lot to do. Mamma worked hard over the span of a month or so to get it all done. I would step in on the weekends and evenings to help, but she did the vast majority of it.

Mamma is going to paint a few rooms in the house while she's home this week. I talked to her last night and she's "on the ball" on this one. This was her first time to see the house since we saw it the first time and she said that she still really likes it and feels comfortable there. That's a good thing!!!

The yard evidently needs some work and there is a fire ant mound in the back yard. WATCH OUT BAILEY!!!! We'll get those things taken care of post haste.

Adios,

Pappa

Mamma and Junior Made it to AR

Mamma and Junior made it home safe and sound. They were greeted at the airport by three very happy grandparents (no big surprise there, eh?).

Pappa (that would be me) ran 4 miles yesterday and then came home to the war zone apartment, fixed some chicken spaghetti, talked on the phone to Timbes for an hour or so, talked on the phone to Mamma for a while, did a little packing, then went to bed.

Oh, the glamourous life of a (temporary) bachelor. :-)

I'm losing my mind though. There was a clean shirt left out on the bed yesterday that I moved last night and now can't seem to find. Also, there was a travel size bottle of contact solution in the bathroom that now seems to have come up missing. I don't know what the hell I did with either of these.

Paging Mamma. Come in Mamma. Please report back home b/c I can't seem to pull my head out of my a$$ when you're gone.

Signed,

Lost in MI

Junior and Mamma Have Left the Building

Junior and Mamma just got on a plane for AR. It's kind of hard to believe, but Junior just left MI FOR GOOD! WOW! Lucky guy. :-)

Anyone going to the airport to meet Mamma, be forewarned. She didn't get much sleep last night b/c we stayed up late packing and the cat had her own kitty carnival last night with the various items of interest around our war zone apartment. This means she may not be in the best of moods. Good luck with that.

I, on the other hand, get to "batch it" for the week. Spaghetti for dinner every night after I run and some friends and I are going out on Friday for a "send off" party. Should be interesting, as always.

Mamma is heading home to prep the house for our big move in. The movers are coming here a week from Friday and our stuff should arrive some time that next week.

WE'RE READY!!!

Adios,

Pappa

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa V

The entire post today is dedicated to a special thanks to Grandma and Grandpa V for cutting our yard Sunday.

Thanks guys!!!!

Well, I'm a Bad Son/Grandson

I forgot to call my Mom/Grandmothers on Mother's Day!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Thankfully Mamma and I sent them all cards, I sent them an e-mail yesterday AM, and I put a post on here. However, after all of our Mother's Day activities up here, and with a late night packing, I forgot to call and wish all the Mothers a happy Mother's Day.

I apologized PROFUSELY to my mom this AM and am about to do the same to my Grandmothers.

I felt HORRIBLE when I realized my transgression this AM. Thankfully, I have an OUTSTANDING mom who was very understanding.

Love to all the moms out there. Know that you are very appreciated.

Best,

Pappa

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. We all appreciate you!

Pappa

I'm Dreading Packing Up My Office

Picture this, you're not the most organized person in the world and you just spent the last 5 years accumulating thousands upon thousands of pages of articles, manuscripts, handouts from meetings, etc...

Now, you have to move. You have to organize these thousands of pages, put them in boxes, and then transport them home so that the movers can do their moving thing.

This is a not so veiled reference to my current state of affairs in my office.

I was lucky enough this year to have an office to myself. My office mate for my first four years took a job (ahem...ON TIME...unlike some others we know who will go un-named) and left at the end of last summer. I began this year with a new office mate who, two weeks into the Fall semester, decided to quit the program. He was a new student majoring in Operations and, knowing some new students have some fear and trepidation about joining the program, I decided to ask him if he had any concerns that I could help him with.

He posed the following question to me, "So, does this whole Ph.D. thing require a lot of work?"

To begin, that's absolutely the worst question I've ever heard. If you're entering into this deal wondering about how much work you're going to have to do, that's a bad sign.

I tried to respond in a measured fashion and told him that some months are busier than others. The Spring semester is usually easier than the Fall. Etc....

He went to classes for the first two weeks. Didn't turn in an assignment on time for one of his classes. Expectedly, he got his a$$ chewed for doing so. He then went to the first class where he was assigned gobs of reading, and quit.

Anyway, long story short, I've had the office to myself for almost the entire year. This means I've had room to spread out and haven't had to stay organized so that someone else could share a small space with me. This means my job in the next two weeks is to try to get all my crap together in an organized fashion and move it.

Not going to be fun, I can promise you!!!

What makes it worse is that you never know what is OK to throw away and not to throw away. It's funny that you won't need a certain article or manuscript for YEARS and then one day you'll be doing something and say, "I wrote/read an article on that and think I have it somewhere." This begins the search process which usually results in finding said article. Case in point, you have to keep almost EVERYTHING. Geez.

Wish me luck!

Best,

Pappa

Good Words of Wisdom

I was running tonight and came up with a couple of gems. First, I know I'm getting in better shape b/c I'm thinking of sayings during my last mile of a run as opposed to wondering how many of my limbs are going to fall off after I'm done.

Second, the first of these is mildly x-rated. If you're easily offended, stop reading now and save yourself from being pissed off. I don't personally care if you get pissed off, b/c I probably won't see you for a few weeks and you'll be over it by then, but those around you might appreciate if you would refrain from pissed off-edness.

OK, here we go. I'll provide a little context here. When training for a marathon, you want to be able to stay out on the road a LONG time. This ability is more important than the ability to move fast. Leading to:

Saying #1: Marathons and marathon training are a lot like sex. It's better to be long and slow than short and fast.

See, you want to move slow and stay out there a long time as opposed to moving fast and only lasting a few miles. OK...onward and upward.

Saying #2 doesn't need much set-up but pertains to the two most important things I learned in the Ph.D. program.

Saying #2: The two most important things I learned while earning my Ph.D. are 1) how to look intelligent even when I don't know what the hell someone is talking about and 2) how to teach myself what the hell they were talking about.

There. Now go forth and spread wisdom among the masses.

Best,

Pappa

Running Bleachers, Shake and Bake, and American Idol

I decided to do something different from my normal training yesterday. So, I left work a little early, drove down to the track on campus, and ran some bleachers. Surprisingly I'm not sore today. I figured I would be given that you use some muscles running bleachers that you don't use as much just running.

Mamma and I had shake and bake chicken last night. I don't think I've ever had that stuff but it was finger lickin'. I was hungry and Mamma never eats all of her meal, so I figured I would just take 1/3 of her chicken breast (this could be part of the reason that Mamma is slim and trim and me...well..not so much).

That was a mistake. Mamma was none too pleased I had stolen her shake and bake. She got over it though.

We watched American Idol last night. I know. I know. I like the show, OK. It's kind of one of those things that you don't want to admit to many people but I guess I just did.

Anyway, Barry Gibb of Bee Gee's fame was the celebrity host last night. He looks like a monkey. You know how monkeys have a round snout? His upper lip is abnormally white and looks round. Plus, he talks with some kind of lisp. That coupled with an Australian accent (I think he's Australian..too lazy to look it up) and he was derned hard to understand.

Back to work.

Pappa

Weird Coincidence

See, some days you tune into Rooting in Snow and get 2 posts for the price of one.

Mamma and I figured out a weird coincidence last night while going through some old files.

On our first date I got really industrious and rented a limo. For some unknown reason, I saved the receipt from this purchase.

It turns out that our first date was December 9th, 2000. Guess when Junior was born? That's right, he was born 6 years later to the day: December 9th, 2006.

How 'bout that for being coinkee-dinkee? What're the odds?

Packing and Other Assorted Happenings

I think I'd rather dig ditches than to move. Don't get me wrong, this is the best case scenario when it comes to moving, but I hate the actual act of moving. You pack up all your belongings, which is a pain in the a$$. These belongings sit in boxes cluttering up your house for an un-Godly amount of time, turning your entire residence into a mine field.

Getting up to pee at night is like trying to sneak from East Berlin to West. You tipee toe through some parts. You scurry though others (probably because you just tripped and for some reason the natural reaction to tripping is to move faster).

The dog hates it too. She's a pleaser and tries to stay out of the way. The only problem is that due to all the boxes, there's only so many "alleys" she can go to and these alleys are narrow. Meaning, if she's someplace we're trying to get to, she has to run THROUGH us to get out of the way. This is mildly troublesome when you're carrying a 50 lb box.

The cat LOVES it. Hiding places galore. In boxes. Behind boxes. It's heaven for a cat.

Junior doesn't care. He just wants his twice daily dose of gruel. He had it in his hair this morning, by the way. I told him that was a God given gift.

Mamma is handling it well. She's the neat person around our house and normally doesn't react too well to chaos, but she's taking everything in stride.

We got some of our packed boxes moved into a corner last night and that helped substantially. The cat doesn't understand why we did this but she can stick it.

On another note, our yard in Conway is evidently growing. Before leaving Conway, when we closed on our house, I had thought about the yard but there's just so much going on that I hadn't gotten around to hiring someone to take care of it in our absence. Thankfully, Grandpa and Grandma V are going to take care of it for us. Evidently grass in AR grows before June. Who'da thunk it?

Things are going well up here. I got an article from my dissertation submitted to the top journal in my discipline last Friday. We'll see how that goes.

Speaking of my dissertation, I went to the binder last Friday to get several copies of that tome bound. Several of you might be getting a dissertation for Christmas b/c that crap aint cheap! When you get it, just say "thank you" because you can rest assured that it is more expensive than the cheese tray or sweater you would have gotten otherwise. :-)

I also finished the first draft of another aritcle yesterday and sent it to the co-authors. I have one more article to complete and a couple of ancillary things then my work up here is complete. There's more work, related to my work up here, to do when I move but that will get done as well.

Anyway, now you know the "rest of the story".

Best,

Pappa

Summer on College Campuses

If there were no other reason to be a college professor, and there are MANY other reasons, summer time on college campuses is a great one.

Not that college campuses are stressful (relatively) during the school year. They're really not. They are "bustling" though, for lack of a better word. Sidewalks are generally pretty crowded. Students are ALWAYS on cell phones and not watching where they're going (speaking of...how did folks of my age and older ever make it without a cell phone constantly glued to our ear when we were in college? I got by just fine. Why do these kids have to ALWAYS talk on those infernal contraptions?). Hallways are fairly packed. Professors are normally seen around the office at least once a day. It's hard to find a parking place unless you show up before 9 AM, which is not a problem for my no sleep getting butt. Lines are formed at restaurants. It's hard to get a table outside when the weather is nice. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

The summertime, ohhhhhhhh sweet summertime, is vastly different. There's NO traffic. There're few students around. Professors are seen infrequently, if at all. You can get a table outside whenever you want. You don't have to wait to cross the street because there are almost no cars. Trees are in bloom. Girls don't wear clothes (really, girls wear next to NOTHING these days. I guess it's a style, but I'm not complaining). You can get a parking spot anytime. The list goes on and on.

Summertime on a college campus is reason enough for a career as a college professor and summertime at MSU starts today. No traffic on the way to work. The halls are quiet. Life is good.

Some folks spend their summer working. I almost always have, partially by necessity. The only exception to this was my first (or was it second?) summer up here. I took about 6 weeks off and did NOTHING but work out, sit around the house, run errands, do projects around the house, etc... Man, that was GREAT for about 4 weeks. The problem is that I ran out of projects. I wondered if that is what it's like to be retired. Do you retire, get everything done you had been putting off for years, and then realize that you've got the rest of your life to get a project done every now and then spending the rest of the time bored off your a$$?

I ran out of things to do? I was bored beyond words. So, I decided to go back to work, but there was a problem with that. I couldn't get motivated to go back! I was stuck in a spot where I had nothing to do at home but didn't want to go back to work. It wasn't so fun.

I finally went back to work but had a hard time getting readjusted. I finally did and life as we know it recommenced.

Anyway, summer is here. After a LONG winter in MI, summer is finally here! 3 cheers for summer and a career where you can actually enjoy it!!!!!!

Junior Met Jimmy Buffett Today....

Well, not really, but he did sit quietly while his Mamma and Pappa ate at Jimmy Buffett's restaurant, "Cheeseburger in Paradise."

I got out this morning (after Mamma woke me up) and ran 6 miles. No worries there. Ran the whole thing and it felt good. I started off at a measured pace and finished up at the same measured pace. It is AWESOME when it feels that way: run a long distance and do it at a comfortable, conversational, easy pace.

I got home, showered, and then Junior, Mamma, and I drove to Cheeseburger in Paradise. Great music there. Not all Buffett. They throw in some "Dock of the Bay" and others of that ilk. Junior got to hear his first Buffett and some other good tunes. His Mamma and Pappa ordered some cheeseburgers. Decent burgers there. Some of the best I've had in Lansing, but that ain't saying much.

We then began our drive to Sams to pick up moving supplies. Mamma and Junior promptly conked out. I drove around for 45 minutes b/c I didn't want to wake them up. They finally woke up, we went to Sams (got the obligatory ICEE, of course), and came home.

Junior didn't utter a peep the whole time. He's a great kid.

I fell asleep when we got home.

I suppose we should so some packing now, but Junior's asleep. We all need to get on the same schedule.

Pappa

Junior Update

Forgot to post yesterday. Sorry.

Here's a Junior update though.

I got home yesterday and sat with Mamma and Junior in the nursery. We had a big time.

Evidently, Junior find the word "peekaboo" HI-LARIOUS. I'd cover his eyes with my hand, remove my hand, and say "PEEKABOO". Hilarity ensued. Junior just found that whole thing funny as hell and it's hard not to laugh when a baby laughs. Therefore, Mamma and I laughed when he did.

However, what he found funny had nothing to do with the placement of my hand. He just really likes the word "peekaboo". I stopped putting my hand in front of his face and just said the word. Again, hilarity ensued.

So I said "peekaboo" over and over and over again and did it faster and faster and faster. This through Junior into a state of hysterical laughter. He leaned his head back with his mouth wide open and laughed for about a solid minute or more. I tell you, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen! I laughed until I had tears rolling down my face.

Unfortunately, Junior shares his daddy's love (or lack thereof) for cameras b/c Mamma and I tried to film him laughing and - once again - he completely shuts off when the camera is turned on. Not that it would have really mattered. Mamma and I suck at filming. We reviewed the tape we did have and we didn't get his face in the picture anyway. Ugh.

Everyone have a great weekend!!!!!

Pappa

Speed Training

I got out yesterday and worked on my speed a little. Did a mile in 8:15. Couldn't do more than one mile that fast but that's good enough for me. Finished the rest at about 11-12 minute miles. Back to plodding. Speed is for the birds....literally and figuratively.

I'm Back!!!!

Forgot to post yesterday. Sorry!

Had a great week in AR last week. To begin, we closed on our house last Friday with no problems. I spent some time in the house Friday afternoon and Saturday and it looks great. The sellers were great people. I actually got to meet them. They planted a bunch of flowers around the house before they moved. Not that I really care about flowers, because I really don't, but it was very nice of them to do so and exemplifies the type of people they are (they didn't have to do it) and how much they cared for the house.

It is the closest thing to spotless that a 5 year old house can be. Sure, there are a couple of spots on the walls you could look at and say, "I might touch that up" but those are VERY minor and, truth be told, you could move into the house and not do anything to it and feel good about showing it off.

I was very pleased.

Got to spend a lot of time with friends while I was there. Between staying up late with my cousin and her new husband on Monday, staying up late with Chad and Paul on Tuesday, driving to Fayetteville on Wednesday to have lunch with an old professor of mine and then "commisserating" with another old professor and Steven, I was so dadgum tired driving home I had to stop in Alma and spend the night. I'm getting old, but that was $50 well spent.

I also got to eat some good food and see family. On Monday, Grandparents V and C, my aunt, cousin, and grandmother all ate BBQ at Whole Hog Cafe. Good stuff!! Friday night I got to see friends of my parents who helped raise me and ate at Buffalo Grill. I considered getting a cheeseburger but settled on a chicken sandwich. Gotta watch my weight for the marathon training, you know? I probably should have been a little more disciplined those nights I stayed up late as well, but you know how that goes.

Speaking of marathon training, I didn't run all week. This is not TOO much of a problem as it was a "rest" week (i.e. 3 miles a day for 4 days) but I ran 5 on Sunday when I got back and felt good. The schedule has now progressed into a couple of weeks where I run 5 days. Gotta do 3 today, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I need to work on my speed some as I have been averaging about 12-13 minute miles. Clay called me on Sunday and said he just completed 9 miles (HE'S AHEAD OF SCHEDULE...THE CHEATER!!!) and ran some of them at 8 - 8.5 minute miles. So, I'm going to spend these next few 3 mile days trying to run as fast as I can. Should be fun (sarcasm). I'm known for a few things, but speed is not one of them.

Anyway, no hiccups in the closing process. Got to see a lot of good friends. Have to get back to running. We're ready to move home. I am having a hard time getting motivated to work but have a lot to do. That's it in a nutshell.

Pappa

Blogging Break

I said this in the last post but wanted to bring it up top.

This blog is on vacation until April 30th. I'm heading to AR to close on our house.

Ya'll take care.

Best,

Pappa

This Blog Has Been Pretty SERIOUS the Last Few Days!!!

Let's move on to more jovial thoughts.

Here's a few stupid things that drive me crazy:

1. Waking up to my dog licking herself: Is there anything worse than waking up at 2 AM to a steady "slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp" noise only to look over and see your dog's nose buried so deep in her own butt that you wonder if she considered plumbing as a second career? Don't get me wrong. If I could....well, I won't go there.

2. Decorative pillows: Mamma has these damned decorative pillows she puts on our bed every day. There's only like, ohhhh I don't know, 500 of them. This is all fine, except that they're a pain in the rear to take off and they then get stored ON MY SIDE OF THE BED!!! Getting up to go to the bathroom at night is like walking through a minefield installed by a male florist. As Homer Simpson would say, "Stupid decoration."

3. Cat's meowing for food: I'll feed you when I'm good and GD ready, you stupid little hooker!

4. Asian drivers: DWA = Driving While Asian. This is part of the reason I don't use my name on this blog, so I can say stuff like this. I don't think it's the Americans of Asian heritage. I think it's the ones who were actually born over there somewhere. They drive like a 5 year old on his Hot Wheels trying to run over as many acorns in the driveway as humanly possible. THIS ISN'T "CONNECT THE DOTS" PEOPLE! THIS IS DRIVING! They're probably too busy solving a calculus equation or listening to a 'Hello Kitty' CD. That or taking pictures. Those folks are ALWAYS taking pictures.

5. Low tire pressure light on my Jeep: My jeep has a light saying my tire pressure is low. This thing came on as soon as the temperature got below 30 degrees up here. I understand the reason why temperature affects tire pressure. I also understand that a responsible driver would fill his tires up with air to save on gas. Well, I'm not a responsible driver. Get that stupid ass light and it's associated "PING" off my freaking dashboard! When that sucker stats flopping, I'll put some damned air in it!

Further, why would I fill it up in winter only so I have to let air out in the spring? This is circular. It's fine as long as the temperature is above 30.

6. Running out of propane when grilling: This is why you keep a spare tank but if you don't have one, and you run out, well....you're stupid, but it still sucks.

7. Dog hair - Bailey didn't shed when we first got her. She does now. I'm taking her back. Not really. When she shakes, she looks like the character Pigpen off the Peanuts comic strip. You know? The one with that cloud of dirt hanging over him. Except with Bailey, it's hair, not dirt. I think her days as a permanent inside dog are numbered.

8. The light/noise designed to circumvent natural selection on my Jeep: Otherwise known as the "seat belt not fastened" indicator. Thankfully, I figured out how to turn this thing off. Listen, sometimes I just drive from my apartment to the dumpster, I don't need you telling me I should fasten my seat belt during that 1/8th mile stretch. Worse, it's a constant "ping, ping, ping, ping". Holy moley puddin' pie, it makes me want to put my fist through the dashboard. The only thing about putting your fist through the dashboard is that...well...that would hurt and I really don't think I could do it anyway.

Listen, if you're not smart enough to figure out that fastening your seat belt (on trips longer than those to the apt complex dumpster) is potentially good for your health, I don't want you to breed anyway.

This blog is on hietus next week. I'll be in AR to close on our house. Check back a week from Monday. Hope everyone's doing well.

Pappa

My Thoughts on Moving Home

Mamma and I had a discussion about 3-4 years ago about moving home sometime.

At that moment the discussion took place, moving home was only a dream. We ventured up here with no knowledge of where we would go at the conclusion of our journey. We came up here on blind faith that we were doing the right thing. Who really knows if you're doing the "right" thing or not when you make a big decision such as the one we made to move 1,000 miles away from home to a strange climate, filled with strange people, all in the name of furthering my career/dream.

The closest friends we had in MI were people we'd never really met. The closest person we had to a friend, my mentor for the first few years in the program, was someone who had gotten his Ph.D. under my previous mentor at UA. I had only met him one time, and that was on my campus visit to MSU.

I don't mean to imply that we're special. Lots of folks move far away from home for various reasons and don't know anyone when they get there, but it was an eye opening moment for me when I realized that the move to MI was real.

I realized the move to MI was real when I changed the license plate on my old Jeep. Even more poignant than this moment was when my mom, dad, and Mamma left after dropping me off here.

The four of us, and Misty the cat, drove up to MI in August of 2002 to get me moved in to the house we were to live in for our first couple of years here. The four of us stayed for a couple of days and then it was time for the three of them to go. Mom and Dad had to go b/c they had to return to work. Mamma and I weren't married yet and her dad was in poor health at the time so we both thought it was ABSOLUTELY the best thing for her to stay in AR.

We checked out of the hotel and walked out to the parking lot. At this time, mom, dad, and Mamma got into the car after a few hugs and drove out of the parking lot to get back on the interstate and head South. I watched their car leave the hotel parking lot and that memory will always stick in my mind. I felt pretty derned alone. My family and fiance had just left, leaving me with a cat that, at the time, I would just as soon punt through a plate glass window. I'll never forget that car leaving the parking lot.

I then went back into the hotel room to get my stuff and the damned cat had knocked over a box of wine glasses in the whole 5 minutes I was gone. Thanks, cat. Great way to start a new chapter in life.

Fast forward a couple of years to the aforementioned conversation between Mamma and I about hoping to return home sometime. I told Mamma during this conversation that I wondered if home could ever be as good as I remembered it being. We all know that sometimes things and places are romanticized in memories far beyond what they actually were in real life.

Ever since I came here, I've held a rather romanticized view of AR. I've read the AR Dem Gaz every day until the last few months when I stopped b/c of my disdain for Wally Hall...but that's been covered previously. I've followed every move of the Razorbacks RELIGIOUSLY. I've missed the warm weather, people, and friends. I've missed family and being a part of family dinners and functions.

Now that we're moving home, I know that things may not be as good as I remember them being in my mind. But that doesn't make me less excited. It just makes me realistic.

This whole post leads me to remember a quote by Morgan Freeman who played the character Red in "Shawshank Redemption." Red is riding the bus to Zihuatanejo, Mexico to meet his friend Andy Dufrese who had escaped from Shawshank after being falsely accused. On the bus, Red finally finds "hope" after stating earlier in the movie that "hope" was the bain of a prisoner's existence.

Hear Red's quote here: http://reelwavs.com/movies/shawshank_redemption/hlfreeman.wav

(You've got to copy and paste the link...doesn't work otherwise for some reason)

While this all may be rather melodramatic, I'm realistic. I know things will never be as good as I have built them up to be in my head. That said, I also find I'm so excited about moving home that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think its the excitement only a man moving home can feel. A man beginning a new chapter in his life, whose conclusion is uncertain, rejoining family and friends and now with a family of his own. I hope family gatherings are filled with as much love and laughter as I remember them. I hope to see my friends and shake their hands after a long time gone. I hope summers are filled with as much water, fun, and laughter as I remember them. I hope I still get excited with the start of every Razorback football season and tear up when they play the national anthem. I hope I still care enough to cuss the Hogs when they don't meet my expectations. I hope the drive to Fayetteville still brings back memories. I hope Fall in the Ozarks is as beautiful as it ever was. I hope my son loves Arkansas as much as I do.

I'm realistic, but I hope.

Pics

Sacrifices

Ohhhhh the sacrifices we make!

Back when I worked for a trucking company in LR, one of our loads was filled with Sony TVs. As often occurs, this load got to its destination and had two more TVs on board than the receiver had ordered. This puts the trucking company and shipper in a bit of a pickle. What do you do with the extra cargo?!?!?

To be honest, I'm not sure of the legal outcomes of this even though I probably should be. Obviously, the shipper isn't going to want to pay the trucking company to haul those TVs BACK to where they came from only to have them shipped out AGAIN someplace else. Further, those TVs aren't technically the trucking company's property so they aren't fully responsible for what occurred.

In this case the problem was resolved fairly easily. The trucking company I worked for made a deal with the shipper that employees of said trucking company could buy the TVs for cost. Even better, these were 42" TVs...and Sonys to boot!

I snatched one of those up like an Etheopian crack addict snatches up a McDonalds Quarterpounder! It was $1,200 but WELL WORTH IT! I've had that TV ever since. It traveled back to Fayetteville and then moved up to MI with me.

In Fayetteville I had a crappy little, one bedroom apartment. I happened to really like this apartment though. It was a GREAT pad for a single guy. Short walk to all my classes. It actually bordered campus. This "complex", if you can call it that, was built in the 1970's I'd guess. It was on the third floor, but that really didn't matter to me b/c I didn't have enough money to go to the grocery store anyway. My grandmother kept me stocked with food and I drank a lot of water and....ummmm...beer. Yeah, I was like that guy in the commercial who gets to the cash register and doesn't have enough money for BOTH toilet paper AND beer, so he puts back the toilet paper. Got to have your priorities!

The other great thing about being on the third floor, and simultaneously being broke, is that I didn't hardly have to use the heat all winter. Now, lots of folks would have been REALLY cold in there but I had a little (and I mean LITTLE) space heater that kept one room tolerable and I could get covered up pretty well when I went to bed.

Also, this year in Fayetteville was the year that Mamma and I dated. I came back home to Little Rock EVERY WEEKEND (except FB game weekends). Lots of miles on the old Cherokee during those trips but I didn't drive it during the week so it all evened out.

All this to say: That was a great year! All this time, that Sony 42" TV was situated in my living room right in front of the only comfortable piece of furniture I had: My recliner. I didn't have a couch. I had a recliner. I had an office chair for my desk. I had 4 chairs situated around a table. Trust me, I spent HOURS in this recliner sitting in front of that TV and I LOVED that year. Broke as a joke and loving every minute of it.

When I decided to go to school in MI, I did so b/c the old rule is that you should get your terminal degree from someplace you never want to be again. Thus, MI. Plus it's a great school for my discipline, but that's too practical of a reason...right?

I wanted to come back to AR so I went to MI partly for this reason. Now, we're lucky enough to be coming back to AR! Here's the problem: The TV. It's big. I mean REALLY big and takes up a lot of space. Plus, I want a new, flat screen, HD TV. So, I've decided to save the money I would spend moving the TV, sell it, and use the money saved and earned for my new BIG HONKIN HOG DADDY FLAT SCREEN....errr...to pay for moving expenses, baby diapers, and formula. Yeah. That's it. Baby diapers and formula.

However, I've got to admit that selling the TV is a little difficult. It was the largest purchase I made after finishing college (outside of my Jeep) and I went through some good times with that TV as the only other thing in my apt/house that talked. Maybe I'm a big wus and am stupidly rather emotional over a physical good, but I'm a little depressed to have sold the TV.

But I sold it anyway. For $150 to a Ph.D. student up here who, conveniently, is moving on to Ohio for a job starting in the fall. One man's trash is another's treasure, I suppose.

Oh well. Let's raise a glass to the 42" Sony. Adios amigo!

Prayers for Families at Virginia Tech

What a horrific event.

Thousands upon thousands of eighteen year olds take their first step into adulthood each year by venturing off to college. American society today, for those that go to college, allows young people the ability to transition from (what surely seems like to many) 24 hour supervision to a place where they are in control of their schedules without many of the pressures that characterize life in the "real world".

College is a time in most peoples' lives that they remember fondly. I know I do. Great friends. Great times. Great memories. For those of us lucky enough to have family financial support during college, you don't have to worry about a true job. You don't have to worry about paying the bills. All you have to worry about is getting to class on time, homework, and studying for that next test or quiz. While this seems stressful to many students, many claiming they don't have time to get it all done, in truth it is a care-free existence that most would return to at almost any point in their lives.

College life is characterized by few possessions. Theft occurs at colleges but you have so little of value that anything stolen is generally inconsequential. Certainly, other more serious crimes occur on college campuses nationwide. Sexual assaults, physical assaults (usually in the form of fights outside of the local night spot), etc... are unfortunately not uncommon.

However, if one were to go to college in a true college town as opposed to an urban university, you would likely feel very safe wandering the streets at any hour of the day or night no matter your condition. This is especially true for males. Even the police in small college towns often turn a blind eye toward indiscretions or help you get home if you're in need.

Sports weekends bring another air to college campuses, especially in the fall. Fans, long removed from their days on campus, return to support their team, reunite with friends long lost to the perils of time and adulthood, re-live forgotten memories, and celebrate the time they spent on campus. While sports in and of itself has become big business, we all like to pretend that those kids are putting everything on the line for school pride and the sticker on their helmet or the name emblazoned on the front of their jersey.

Another special time of year arrives in the fall on college campuses. New life is breathed into the air upon the arrival of a freshman class. Some of these kids are hungry for knowledge. Most are more likely hungry for freedom. Others are trying to get away from previous perceptions held by their peers and start anew. College affords all of them this ability.

The college environment has many faults. Universities are commonly perceived, and often rightly so, of celebrating diversity at the expense of other more pertinent qualities. When I speak of "diversity" in the previous sentence, I not only refer to race and gender but also diversity in thoughts and views. While distasteful to many, at times including myself, this diversity in thought allows one to explore the furthest reaches in society with little fear of long-term repercussions. Again, this is not always a good thing. Society generally is what it is for a reason. However, the point is that college students are "safe" to explore themselves and their world without fear of someone trying to ruin them or their families for these actions. In fact, colleges are built around "safety". Even professors are awarded carte blanche to express themselves when they attain tenured status. That's the whole point of tenure: to be able to explore unpopular or controversial views or research, stretching the boundaries of currently held "truth", without fear that these actions will negatively impact their ability to make a living. Again, many of these views and much of this research is viewed as distasteful - I even perceive much of it as distasteful - but many past "distasteful" notions are now understood to be fact. After all, to say the Sun was the center of the galaxy was, at one time, heresy.

No, university students and professors are - for the most part - safe, and there is a reason for this safety. Professors are safe to stretch the boundaries of knowledge and students' minds. Students are safe to explore themselves and discover the kind of man/woman they want to be once their college years inevitably draw to a close.

"Safe" is the operative word in the above paragraph.

Safety is what was robbed of the students at Virginia Tech yesterday. Their college years are forever tarnished by the memory of some deviant and his actions. The innocence of college, the innocence of the transition from childhood to adulthood, the innocence of starting over in life, the innocence of mentors assisting you, the innocence of friendships, the innocence of Fall, is forever tarnished.

Certainly, the surviving students will return to Blacksburg, a town nestled in the Virginia hills close to West Virginia, and rekindle old friendships and memories after they graduate. However, these memories will forever be made more poignant by the events of April 16th, 2007. Those innocent memories will never be the same.

Many families will never be the same. Sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, grandsons, granddaughters, future moms, and future dads were lost yesterday. Bright minds were extinguished before they had the chance to fully contribute to society.

Part of the reason I chose my career is the safety and innocence with which I remember college. Unfortunately, days like yesterday remind us that there is evil in the world and no bastion of safety and innocence is immune. It is easy to go about our daily lives, far removed from Blacksburg, and only think of the horror that occurred yesterday as a sad event primarily affecting someone else. We all have to do this to cope and remain productive members of society. We cannot go through OUR lives in a perpetual state of worry and remorse over past events. However, I would call upon everyone today to take a moment, sit in silence, and pray for the Virginia Tech families and community. Pray for comfort. Pray for mental peace. Pray that they will be safe in every meaning of the word.

Guess What Days Got the Most Hits on this Blog

You probably don't have to think too hard to figure it out.

That's right: The days where I post pics of Junior. I laughed when I figured that out.

I told Mamma I was going to shut down this blog when we moved home but I think we'll probably keep it up just to post pics and keep everyone up to date on him. I won't post every day, and probably won't add any of my own commentary at all, but we'll probably keep it going just for the little guy. He's in high demand! :-)

Best,

Pappa

Ran 5 Miles Today

Ran 5 for the first time today since last summer. I felt decent until about 2 miles into it then I caught my second wind and breezed through (no pun intended) the last 3. The last step of the run actually felt better than the first. Wasn't even breathing hard when I stopped. I was AMAZED!

Probably only walked about 1/2 mile in a couple of short stints. Never felt like I was pushing it through the whole five. Only walked so I didn't push it.

I've finally gotten to where I can cruise along at a good clip and not have to concentrate on it. Really a great experience today!

Pappa

More Pics

Forgot to Post Yesterday

Sorry 'bout that. It's been hectic at work.

My goal this semester was to get enough publications done that I could be derned close to the tenure requirements at my future institution. I've gotten a CRAPLOAD done this semester! From a publication standpoint, I have:

1) Written a book chapter that will be published soon

2) Supervised a MBA student that wrote a manuscript that will be published soon (with my name on it)

3) Written an article to be submitted to a journal that is either tied for #1 or the #2 journal in my field, depending on your perspective

4) Written an article from my dissertation that will be submitted to the #1 journal in my field

5) Worked on a publication from my dissertation that will be submitted to one of the top journals in the business discipline

6) Worked on a publication with my old mentor up here (he moved to FL...that doofus!) which will be submitted to the #1 journal in my field

7) Been to DC to do a poster presentation

8) Speaking at a conference next week (held locally) and doing a poster presentation there

9) Was asked to join a project and have been working on collecting data.

Not to mention the previous projects I was on, having a new baby, buying a house, keeping the wifey happy - which is not hard b/c she's awesome - training for a marathon, and on and on and on.

More exciting news on the professional front: I have been working with my dissertation chair, who is also the primary researcher on the Homeland Security project I've been involved with for 3 years, on figuring out a part of the project I can take with me to my future institution. The current project is up for renewal, we've been asked to renew (meaning it will probably get renewed), and I would get a little funding to take with me and have my own "baby" (so to speak).

This would be exciting not just for me but for my future institution. It would be a big feather in their cap to be involved in this project. Not to mention it would make me look good to them as well.

Anyway, I have three more manuscripts to write in the next 1.5 mos. It's going to be a challenge but can be done. I've written one a week each of the past two weeks.

Here is where my abnormal sleeping habits come in handy (reference previous post about how I only sleep 5-6 hours every night and get to work before 7 AM every day).

I need 8 "intellectual contributions" (i.e. they don't have to be all journal hits) to get tenure. I've almost met my mark this semester and that will make life MUCH easier in the future. I'll still have to wait 6 years, still have to keep publishing, still have to teach well, still have to not make anybody mad at me, and still have to clear all the other political and non-political hurdles, but at least I'll know that I've got enough pubs to get tenure when that time comes.

Tenure is never guaranteed but publications also never hurt.

Speaking of my future institution, which means "speaking of home". I don't know if it is truly possible to explain how excited we are about returning. Just the thought of it made the past two cold, snowy, miserable weatther filled weeks up here bearable. The problem is that now we have to start packing. The problem with this problem is that we don't have the long blocks of time necessary to do so. Therefore, we have to just do a little bit every night after Junior hits the rack. I'm headed to Sam's this afternoon to buy all necessary materials. Fun fun.

The best part about going to Sam's is that they have Icee's there. I love me some Coke Icee's. You know what Icee's are...those frozen coke things. Good stuff!

I've got more pics of Junior to put on here. I meant to do that last night but Mamma and I had "date night" (i.e. take out food on the couch). I'll do my best to get them up soon. Sorry for the delay and thanks for your understanding.

OK, I missed posting yesteday but you got a big one today. Hope that makes up for it.

Take care,


Pappa

Easter Pics

Junior Update

Junior went to the doctor today for his regular checkup. First of all, he's perfectly healthy. That's obviously the most important thing.

Second, Junior is a BIG OLE BOY!

He's not fat. Lean kid...but....

He weighs 17 lbs, 3 ounces...is 26 inches long...and has a 43.6 inche head. 90th percentile on all those metrics!

He was 75th percentile on each at his last visit two months ago.

Around his last visit, Mamma had on some talk show one day and the topic of the show was fat babies. This mom was on there saying that her baby was 6 months old and weighed 20 lbs and he was FAT!

I thought at the time that 20 lbs didn't sound too far fetched! It isn't, but our baby ain't fat.

He also got shots today. That evidently wasn't too fun...not surprisingly.

Anyway, everybody's doing great.

Adios,

Pappa

Spring Water

I was thinking today (yes...sometimes I think), why do people drink spring water?

I personally can't stand that crap. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with that bottled water that actually comes from a tap...as most of it does. For example, Dasani is a Coke product. Coke is based in Atlanta. You may or may not have known this, but Dasani is just Atlanta tap water.

That's right. If you pay $1 for a few ounces of Dasani you're just getting tap water.

The stuff I can't stand is the spring water stuff. You know, the stuff that tastes like heavy water from a nuclear reactor. I say that b/c it's GOT TO weigh more than tap water. It just has to. That stuff tastes heavy as heck.

I REALLY can't stand Perrier. Carbonated water? Really? Don't they mix that stuff with syrup to make coke? Isn't there a reason it's normally mixed with something else? Oh yeah. There is. Because it tastes like crap by itself!

(could I use the word "stuff" more in this stuff?)

When you go to one of those high falutin fancy restaurants, they always ask you if you want bottled or tap water. I always say tap. If you don't, you get heavy water. My food is normally heavy enough. Primarily b/c I usually order way too much of it. Why would I want my water to be heavy too?

There's your random thought for the day.

Easter and the Hogs

We took Junior to his first church service yesterday and he did GREAT. I say he did "GREAT" because he slept through the whole thing. That's about all you can ask!

I enjoy going to church and normally, if the preacher is half-way decent, get something out of it. However, don't you all wish that you could get praised for sleeping through church like Junior does. If you did, your wife might say something like, "Well, Pappa slept through church again this week. I'M SO PROUD OF HIM!!!"

We've got some Junior pictures to share and I'll get those on here ASAP.

The Hogs hired John Pelphrey. Long drawn out story. At any rate, this guy has a good BB pedigree and likes to play up-tempo ball. Might as well get on the bandwagon b/c we got turned down by every big name we went after. I'm more excited about this guy than Altman.

We need to hire a good AD and get John White's hands out of athletics. That will go a LONG way toward making any of our next hires good ones.

John White has a reputation of being less than honest, having a lack of knowledge regarding athletics, and to boot....a meddler in athletics. I'm not a fan of his.

Everyone Call Mamma

Everyone who reads this, call Mamma and ask her about athletes foot. Trust me. Just do it.

I Saw Snow Today and Marathon Training

and I was NONE too pleased. Snow in April? Really? Damned Michigan.

High on Easter Day: 40 degrees.

That's right: 40 degrees...and that ain't Celcius either. That would be Farenheit. 40 freakin' degrees FARENHEIT!

I'd cry but my tears would freeze.

Ran 4 miles without walking Sunday for the first time since last summer. It felt good. I thought I was really making progress...and I am! However, after running 3 miles (without walking) yesterday, I realized why the 4 miler was relatively easy.

You see, the 3 mile track I've been training on is VERY hilly. I mean up, down, up, down, up, down, ad nausem. The 4 mile track has a couple of hills but it has 2 miles of flat.

So, I get going on the 3 miler yesterday and I noticed from my first running step that my old body don't feel so swooft. Even the first step was an effort. That's when you know it's going to be a painful run. It was. I ran that hilly, 3 mile course without walking but it got to the point where, at the end, I was literally using foul language directed toward the hills/road.

"I'm not going to let you beat me you f'n hill."

"I'm 'bout to whoop your a$$ you damned road."

These things sound insane when taken at face value. However, in context, they seemed to make perfect sense at the time. EVERY DADGUM STEP WAS AN EFFORT but I kept on keeping on. I suppose that's something. Not much, but something.

Now, to relate the first and last parts of this post: The highs up here are butt a$$ cold and I've got to run on Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Guess what? Ain't no way I'm running outside. I know. You're supposed to train on the road but I have a rule that I'm not running (right now) outside if it's that cold. I'm just not. Period.

Treadmill here I come.

This reminds me of another good quote from "Grumpy Old Men"

"How you doin' Pop?"

Old Man says: "Terrible! It's butt a$$ cold and I'm fresh out of beer."

He then steals a beer from the first guy. Did I mention I love that movie?

All You Can Do Is Laugh

That's all you can do when it comes to Hog Sports. It's a cluster...

If you don't know why now, don't worry. You will soon.

I Feel Good About Dana Altman

I was a little down in the dumps yesterday and beat my thoughts into the ground, but after hearing Altman's speech yesterday I feel better about him.

He talks like a coach. Some might call it boring but he has a very no-nonsense, honest, knowledgeable tone. He knows what he wants to do. 40 minutes of defensive pressure with opportunities for 3's and driving to the basket. I'm no basketball guru, but that sounds a lot like Pitino's style to me. He seems like a quality person. That's important to players, fans, and to be a good representative of The University.

I wanted a big name coach but substance trumps style every day. I was worried about his recruiting ability but he scored big with his first recruits yesterday: Patrick Beverley and the rest of the team. By the way, we are blessed to have Patrick Beverley and his mom. They made a commitment to The University and are sticking by it. He's going to make as all proud in the future just as he has already done in the past.

It boils down to this, as with all coaches, if he wins - he'll be retained. If he doesn't win, he won't be retained. Winning is a function of coaching, recruiting, and relationships. I think we have someone who can do all three. I'm a happy Hog fan even if I wasn't yesterday morning. It's time for all of us to get behind our University and do what little we all can to support our men's basketball program.

GO HOGS!

Dana Altman is the New Head Hog

I was right. Nobody knew anything b/c they wanted to delay the backlash. I won't even go into my thoughts of Altman in depth. Suffice to say that we were led to believe we would be getting a big name coach. We didn't. He's been successful in the MVC. He's got questionable recruiting ability. He's a good X and O coach who demands toughness from his players. He's well respected in coaching circles and many media guys are saying this is a good hire.

In sum: We traded a bad floor coach who's a great recruiter for a good floor coach whose recruiting ability is questionable. If he can recruit well, he'll do well. If not, he might still do OK.

I guess I and many others are upset b/c we were led to believe from the get go that we would get a big name. I've gotten over my "mad" about hiring Altman but he's walking into a hornet's nest of upset fans. That said, we should all recognize that we are Hog fans and not Coach fans. Like any other coach, if he wins...he'll stay. If he doesn't win...he'll get fired and we'll start all over.

Oh well. GO HOGS!

Razorback Update or Lack Thereof

Well, nobody seems to know what's going on with the Hogs. That's interesting in and of itself. I've been following the Hogs VERY closely on the Internet since I've been in MI. Never before, in the past 5 years, have I heard such a deafening silence regarding something so important as this BB hire.

The hot rumor over the weekend was that John Calipari, University of Memphis (a.k.a. Tiger High) head coach, was about to be the Head Hog. Some said that it was likely. My guy in Fayetteville who is usually spot on with this stuff said it was a REAL possibility. Some others said that there was no way he was leaving Memphis with the team he had coming back.

Looks like the latter was correct. Calipari came out yesterday and said he's not leaving and, in fact, was never offered the job. He WAS offered the job. John's telling a tall tale there. However, I don't think the UA nor Calipari ever really thought he would take the job. It looks like that was a smokescreen for something else (I'd say bigger but I'm not sure that's true) going down.

There have been rumors for the past few days that an unknown candidate exists who is interested in the job. All sources are saying something should be announced no later than Tuesday. Frank left Atlanta early, which leads one to believe he had a good idea of who he was going to get. There are a few rumblings that someone was signed this weekend and the final details are getting worked out (heard that one before?).

In sum: Nobody but Frank and a few powers that be know what's happening. Nobody's talking. Nobody's revealing the name of the unknown candidate for fear of screwing something up.

The silence probably means one of two things:

1) We got a big name coach and they don't want to trot him out to the public before getting all ducks in a row
2) We got another up and comer and they want to put off the backlash as long as possible.

The next few days are going to be interesting. There is one thing I know for certain: That is...I don't know anything and it seems many others are in the same boat.

This Blog Thing

This blog has now gotten 2,000 hits and 100 posts. Hard to believe that I have 100 posts worth of crap to throw out there.

Junior is doing very well. Mamma, Junior, and I went out to eat last night at Outback. First, let me say that I didn't really want to go to Outback that often in the past b/c there were so few things on their menu I was interested in. Their appetizers were very limited. Their salads were overpriced. However, the Outback Special, which consists of an 8 ounce steak (11 ounce if you want to pay a few bucks more) and a side or two, is only $12! That's a derned good deal so I always get that but there's just so many times you can eat the same steak cooked the same way.

Now, Outback has changed their menu and they have a wider variety of appetizers. That'll bring me back more often! We had cheese fries last night for an appetizer. The thought of cheese fries always reminds me of high school when some kids would get that processed government cheese and dump it all over a plate of cafeteria fries. Well, let me tell you, the cheese fries at Outback are AWESOME. Think potato boats but instead of potatoes, fries. Really good!

That, an Outback Special, a bowl of french onion soup (I'm willing to put aside my hatred of the French so I can eath their onion soup...could we rename it "Freedom onion soup"?....kind of like Freedom fries?) and I was STUFFED. Not stuffed enough that I didn't decide to stop by the local dairy bar and get a large banana shake.

That was a mistake. I think I was more full last night than I've been in YEARS! MISERABLE! I had to go lay down in bed at 8 PM and just let my stomach settle. Again, MISERABLE!

Anyway, Junior did really well at the restaurant like he always does. He's a quiet little baby. Just sits there and looks around taking in the scenery. We were really proud of him and always get compliments about how good he is. We know that, of course!

Now here's the bad news: Due to the fact that I will be a state employee soon (I guess I am now but I'm really more like a federal employee), I won't have tenure for another 6 years (hopefully it will happen in 6!!!), and I have a tendency to run my mouth, this blog will be shut down when we move home in a couple of months. Thanks to all of you for reading and I will continue posting most days until we move in late May, but I have a hard time controlling my mouth/keyboard and I recognize my limitations. So, in the interest of not putting anything in print that would get me fired, this whole blogging thing will come to an end around the time we move.

Thanks again to all of you and hope this doesn't cause you any undue distress.

Take care,

Pappa

He's Gone Again

Gillispie's gone again but I don't think he'll be at A&M next season. He sure won't be at U of A it looks like.

I'm vindictive I guess but I hope he waits around for the FL or KY job and gets burned having to stay in College Station.

Maybe Gillispie Isn't Off the Table Yet

The saga continues........

Billy Gillispie says "NO" to Hogs

I'm shocked and so are A LOT of other people. More later.

Baby Druel

Well, Mamma evidently started teething at a VERY early age - like 4 months old. I wouldn't have known that was early but you learn these things as you progress through this crash course in parenting called "The First Year".

All this means that (and you know what's coming....insert ominous sounding music here...Star Wars theme if you like) Junior has started teething - we think. No, he doesn't have fangs yet but we think they're coming in. He's drueling like a mad man, get's cranky, and sucks on his arm like he's starving, stuck on a deserted island with only fast birds and poisonous weeds for sustanance. There are no coconuts, pineapples, mangoes, or the like on this island. Only fast birds and poisonous weeds. He should have picked a better island.

With regard to the druel, he has this stuff running down his face like a Saint Bernard at a meat market. I'm surprised the dripping of druel doesn't keep him up at night like a leaky faucet.

Drip, drip, drip, drip...

Junior says, "Damn! What's that dripping noise?!? I can't get a lick of sleep in this rat-hole! MOM! DAD!! Fix the faucet! Oh, wait. I think I'm sleeping in Lake Hamilton. Did I pee myself?"

This got me thinking. Druel sounds remarkably similar to "duel". Do you think in the olden days that folks used to separate their babies by 10 paces and have a druel duel? I can see it now:

Baby with British accent: "Little Tommy, your time has come. You have soiled your last diaper."

Baby with French accent: "Ha Ha, Mon ami! Your lack of humor is only matched by your over confidence. Prepare to meet your doom!"

(insert toot noise here where a parent of one baby jumps in to change a diaper...the druel duel continues)

Baby with British accent: "Ahem, now that I have been 'readyied' by Mom I will proceed to wipe my mouth with my arm and fling druel in your general direction."

Baby with French accent: "While your druel producing capabilities are undoubtedly substantial, my own are far superior. Fling your druel. Fling it with all your might. You will find that the viscosity of my druel allows me to fling mine with much greater velocity and accuracy."

Baby with Brittish accent: "Your druel may be superior in terms of velocity and accuracy, but mine scatters. I may not coat completely on the first shot but I will in the span of two. Prepare for a soaking!"

At this point the babies would attempt to fling their druel with parents in the background yelling, "FLING THAT DRUEL!! FLING THAT DRUEL!!!"

Undoubtedly one set of parents would act like Beck Campbell (Mitch Mustain's mom) and yell at her baby, "DO YOU WANT TO LOSE THIS DRUEL DUEL?!?!?? GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND FLING THAT DRUEL FURTHER!!! DO YOU WANT TO LOSE? YOU LOSER!!!"

This would undoubtedly be the parent of the French baby. You see, the French baby didn't train for this druel duel b/c it was part of the French work-rule society where one can only put in no more than 12 hours of labor per week. Yet, the French baby's parents expect the same performance from their child as is exhibited by the British baby.

The French baby eventually winds up covered in druel. Losing in miserale defeat. The French parents whine and then demand a meeting with the Director of Druel Duel Duels. When their appeal of the Druel Duel falls on deaf ears, the French parents then proceed to boycott any further druel duels and refuse to give their vote to any Brittish proposals in the United Nations.

You see, the French are whiney, cheese-eating, contrarians. That's why they suck and lose druel duels!

Update on Billy Gillispie

All signs still point to BG to Arkansas. I'll say this though, the man is a good actor. If you want a good laugh, go to this Texass A&M website. They are in shock and complete denial.

It started yesterday with "AR is filled with a bunch of hillbillies and rednecks....There's no way they can land BG....AR is a step down from TAMU..." yadda yadda yadda.

Fact is, TAMU is NO WHERE NEAR the U of A in terms of basketball tradition. Football, they probably have us beat but it's not by a WIDE margin. In fact, the U of A actually has an all-time winning record against TAMU. Do they have more money than U of A? Sure. Can they afford to dole out the big bucks to keep BCG? Sure, in the short term. However, they have major expenses as well, such as impending construction of new BB facilities (that they started in expectation of keeping BCG), maybe firing their football coach (currently making $2 MM/yr) next year, etc...

I've heard rumors floating around that they are preparing a counter offer of $2.5 MM/yr for 10 years to keep Gillispie. I'm not sure I really believe that. Further, I'd be willing to bet that Frank doesn't fire his man unless he feels as certain as he humanly can be that BCG isn't in the bag.

U of A is a HUGE step up in terms of basketball prestige. I've heard an announcement could come as early as today but will be no later than Saturday.

Let the rebirth of Hawgball begin.

Pappa

The Winds of Change Appear to be Turning AGAIN

I should know better by now that to open my big, fat mouth (keyboard) when it comes to hiring and firing of coaches on The Hill. I'm by no means well-connected, but I have a friend who is and I follow the REPUTABLE Hog message boards closely.

I have put on this blog that Stan Heath would be fired this week and Billy Gillispie would be the next coach. I have put on this blog that John White might screw it up. I have put on this blog that it looked really good that it was going to happen. I have put on this blog *last night* that it looks like JW was going to screw it up again.

This same type of "turn of events" took place when I tried to keep my friends informed, via e-mail, of David Lee's potential hiring as Hog football OC. On, off, on again, off again, on again, off again.

I should really keep my mouth shut but I enjoy the soap opera I guess.

Anyway, take this for what it's worth, but it looks like ONCE AGAIN the deal is done. Billy Gillispie will get a fat contract at U of A and Stan "I can't motivate my players worth a snakes turd but I'm a damned classy guy" Heath will be gone this week.

I'm sure this will change a hundred times before it actually happens but this is the latest I'm hearing.

Stay tuned to "As The Hog Turns."

Pappa

I'm No Longer Very Confident BG Will Coach Here Next Year

I'm no longer very confident that John White is going to let Frank hire Gillispie. He is the sole person making this decision and he's going to have to deal with the consequences.

John White Got Hosed

John White is an idiot. I'm sure he's a very smart person, academically. Unfortunately, if you've spent your life in academics you have no experience in positions that actually require you to focus on PERFORMANCE with little regard for fluff. In other words, if you own your own business and you have to hire a new sales manager, you are going to go after the one who will PERFORM the best. You will give little credence to the person's skin color, gender, etc...

Sports are even more competitive than business. As a matter of fact, some business academic should figure out some research comparing sports to business, but I digress.

You don't hire a basketball coach based on the color of his/her skin. That's racism.

You don't hire a basketball coach based on his/her gender. That's sexism.

Yet in the PC world of academia, it's OK to be racist and sexist as long as you are favoring the a priori underepresented group.

Thankfully, Frank Broyles won his last major battle this week. Negotiations with Billy Gillispie are going on through this weekend. Heath will be fired next week. Gillispie will be hired soon thereafter.

Equality through performance based evaluation has triumphed.

I Think All is Right Again in Hogland

All is back on track.

John White is Meddling

I received some information today from a friend of mine in Fayetteville who is well-connected to some sources at U of A.

He says there is a 70% chance, in his estimation, that Billy Gillispie will be the next head basketball coach at Arkansas. Why the 30% uncertainty?

John White, chancellor, made a promise to Stan Heath regarding his job security after the MS State win in the SEC tournament. Further, Dr. White is very concerned with diversity. An admirable trait to be sure but ultimately the cruelest thing you can do to a coach is to hire him/her not on their merits but on the color of their skin/gender.

Let's hope that John White does the best thing and allows Broyles to hire Gillispie.

Family Portrait

We had a family portrait made yesterday. Or, I should say, we had the pictures for a family portrait taken yesterday.

Junior did very well. He got cranky a couple of times, and we had to take a break, but a little formula in the dressing room and he was ready to go again. He was so worn out afterwards he was falling asleep walking the whole 4 steps to the car.

The picture lady kept saying, "Boy, he's a fat baby." Or, "He sure is big!"

Over and over and over and over and over ad nausem. It got old.

Sure, he is a big baby, but you can see the kid's abs. I can say with 99% confidence that he's not a fat baby. She's a doofus.

I think the pictures will turn out well. We did one with Mamma, Junior, and I, one with me and Junior, one with Mamma and Junior, and one with Junior flying solo. I think Mamma wants a few more so we'll have to discuss that with the picture folks.

I foresee a big family portrait hanging over our fireplace in the new house. Call me psychic.

Obligatory Razorback BB Post

So, the Hogs got HOSED in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Not entirely unexpected. The Hog team that showed up in the SEC tournament is not the same team that showed up in the NCAA tournament.

The Hog team that showed up in the NCAA's is the Hog team we've seen all year. No heart. No drive. Would someone please explain to me how a team cannot be fired up to play in the NCAA's? Especially after all this team went through to get there?!?!?

Anyway, I'm hearing Stan Heath is history as predicted in this blog multiple times. I thought Stan might have saved his job by making the tournament but I bet you hear differently in the next 5-7 days.

I also bet that we'll all be happy with the new hire. I've mentioned the most likely hire previously and word is it will be one of those people. I'll leave it at that.

Pappa

EDIT: The whole situation just became more interesting with Tubby Smith taking the Minnesota job. KY is an attractive place. We'll see.

Junior Sleeping

Sappy post warning...

I generally wake up WAY too early every morning. Like, around 4-5 AM. Don't know why except for this trait seems to run in my family...Actually, given that, I guess I do know why.

I've actually come to enjoy getting up that early. The world is quiet and it's a very productive time to be at work.

Every morning I go to the nursery and shut the door so I don't wake Junior up as I'm getting ready.

Mamma asked me last night before we went to sleep if I told Junior that I love him when I go in. I told her that I didn't but I did check on him to make sure he was OK.

This got me thinking and I decided that I would take a little time out of my morning every day to sit and look at Junior sleeping before I leave. I did that this morning.

There can be no more peaceful creature on Earth than a sleeping baby. I stood there and watched him for a while. He sometimes sleeps with his eyes open and has this blank stare on his face all the time staring right at you. I wondered if he recognized me in his sleep but know that he's probably having visions of formula bottles racing through his head.

I told Mamma the other day that the love I have for her is similar to the love I have for Junior. There's always this base level of love I feel for her but sometimes I look at her and realize how happy I am to have such an incredible woman to share my life with. At those times I love her even more.

The same thing applies to Junior. I always have a base level of love for him but at times like this morning I realize how happy I am to have him as a son, how blessed we are that he is healthy, and how much I love him. I told him that I love him this morning and, truly, there was no better use of my time.

I'm Home!!

Geez, travelling in winter is a pain. When I got to Regan National on Friday to fly home, the ice storm that belted the NE hit. All flights cancelled. So some others from MSU and I got a hotel for the night and then rented a car and drove home Saturday. I caught some bug and slept almost all day Sunday and took it easy most of the day yesterday. Anyway, I'm back at work today and feeling a lot better. Which is good because I have to go run 2 miles this afternoon for the marathon training.

On to the story from DC.

I arrived in DC around noon on Wednesday. Took a cab to the hotel b/c I had too much luggage to ride the Metro. I normally pack pretty light but I had my clothes bag, laptop bag, bag to carry my poster handouts, and my poster tube. The Feds get to foot my bill for the cab.

Got to the hotel and settled in. My hotel room had a porch on it facing North and when you step outside and look to the left, you see the Washington Monument. When you look to the right, you see the Capitol. It was an INCREDIBLE VIEW!!!

I had to go to a reception that night (which was held at the congressional office building!! That was pretty cool too.) at around 5:00 PM so I had a little time to kill. I therefore decided that I would go out and walk around. Specifically, I decided I wanted to walk to the Capitol. It was probably about 2 miles from my hotel and I set out.

I walked past some hippies protesting the war in front of the Capitol and resisted the urge to put a steel toe up their dope smoking rear ends.

I then decided I would see how close to the Capitol I could get. Surprisingly, you can get REALLY close. Like, on the front steps close. So, I then noticed that there were some people exiting the Capitol that looked to be on some type of tour (i.e. they really didn't look like they belonged inside the Capitol). At this point I wondered to myself, "Self, how might you get a tour of the Capitol?" I figured it would take an act of Congress to get one but I decided that the only way to find out was to ask one of the gentlemen standing at the front of the Capitol who happened to be carrying M-16s.

So I walk up to one of the guys carrying an M-16 and say, "Hey. I've got a stupid question for you. How do I get a tour of the Capitol?"

They were very cordial. They didn't shoot me or anything. I thought that was polite of them.

They told me that the tours were probably all booked for the day but that I could walk down to this white tent about 1/4 mile away and ask. So I walk down to the white tent, stand in line for about 2 minutes, get a free ticket, and stand in line for the tour that left about 10 minutes later!

We walk through some fairly touristy parts of the Capitol but it was really cool.

At the end of the tour they just kind of turn you loose to go wander around. That's a bad idea on their part. I'm curious as hell and generally have a fairly low regard for being told what to do (e.g. "Authorized Personnel Only Past This Point") so I set out to go see what trouble I could get in.

I'm wandering around the Capitol and see some meeting rooms. Nothing too exciting but it was pretty cool just seeing the place. The most famous person I walked past was Dennis Hastert. He didn't even say "hi" to me!! I can't imagine why?!?!?! Oh yeah, I know why. He doesn't know me from Adam.

I continue walking around and see a sign that says "Senate Balcony -->" and I was off to see if I could get on that balcony overlooking the Senate floor. Now, I know that you need a pass to do this but I thought I'd go check it out. When I got up there, sure enough, there was a (short) line of people who had these passes but there was an alternate entrance with a "Don't come in here unless you're Jesus, the President, or someone important" sign. I decided I was important enough to go in that way........I was wrong.

I took the approach that I would walk nonchalantly past that sign and try to look like I knew what I was doing. I got about 5 steps past the sign when a big dude in a suit with a mic in his ear said, "SIR! Where are you going?"

I really wasn't prepared for this guy to be there b/c he was kind of situated where you couldn't see him when you were out in the foyer. I had no option but to lay on the Southern accent and say, "WELL HI THERE!!! I'm just kinda wanderin' around. Do you know where the bathroom is?"

He didn't buy it. Oh, I'm sure he bought the Southern accent part. He just didn't buy it to the extent that he was going to let some dumb redneck wander around the Capitol.

"Sir, you need to turn around." he replied.

I had no choice but to say, "Alright then. Ya'll have a nice day now, ya hear!"

This same scenario polayed out about 4 more times. I'll be damned if the Capitol isn't well guarded! Who'd a thunk it?

One time, after getting turned away, I was walking off trying to find some other trouble to get into and I happened to look back over my shoulder and see a Capitol policeman walking about 3 steps behind me. I turned left. He turned left. I turned right. He turned right.

At this point I'm thinking, "Holy shemp! I'm about to get arrested in the U.S. Capitol! That's going to suck to have to tell my family that I got arrested in the Capitol." I could just see myself sitting in some dark, basement lock-up with a spotlight shining on my face getting interrogated by some guys in black suits. Thankfully, I don't think he was really after me as I finally lost my "tail".

I wandered around a little bit more but decided I had pressed my luck enough and went back to the hotel.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. The poster presentation went well. The conference was primarily attended by a bunch of "science" folks (i.e. chemists, biologists, etc...) and was therefore not really that interesting in that I didn't have a clue what many of them were talking about.

I've already covered the pain in the rear that was getting home so this pretty much concludes my trip.

Good time. Love DC! I could spend about a week or more there going through all the museums and stuff.

Glad to be home!

Junior is doing great! I need to post more pictures don't I?!??!??!??!??!!!!

Global Warming Post

I know I said I'd be off until Monday but I can't resist applying common sense to global warming.

Read THIS INTERESTING BLOG.

Good stories from DC coming next week. Tune in.

No Blog Entries Until Monday

Dear All,

I'll be on the road for the next few days and most likely will not update the blog until Monday.

Everyone have a great weekend!

Best,

Pappa

You Might be a Redneck Parent if....

If you can guess which of these actually apply to us and Junior, I'll send you a cookie.

You might be a redneck parent if...

...your baby's crib consists of a spot on the floor outlined in cinder blocks.

...you have ever put tin foil on the antenna of your baby monitor to improve reception.

...you have ever wondered why they don't make a baby toupe to cover up those bald spots.

...you hope your baby's first words are the name of your favorite NASCAR driver.

...you have ever told your wife, "There's no need to give the baby a bath tonight. I've had him/her laying on the ground all day and the dog has licked him/her all over."

...your baby's crib collapsed and ten animals perished underneath.

...you've ever wondered why bars don't serve a mix of formula and Jim Beam.

...you have the same number of teeth as your newborn.

...you've ever tried to set your baby up with one of his/her cousins.

...you've ever tried to cut crystal meth with baby formula.

...you've told your significant other that you already have plans for your baby to get a job when they turn 12.

...the highest aspiration you have for your baby include the words "manager" and "Dairy Queen".

...your baby owns a Mississippi State starter jacket or bib.

...the first baby gift you received was a "log" of Skoal.

...you don't understand why babies can't spit Skoal juice as far as you and your wife can.

...you wish your boss would let you druel and poop your pants just like your baby does.

...the first song your baby ever heard was Willy Nelson singing "Crazy".

...you hope your baby enjoys Willy Nelson's, "I've Gotta Get Drunk and I Sure Do Dread it" as much as you did when you were a kid.

...you said the words, "Hey son, watch this!!!" when you were driving your baby home from the hospital.

...your baby's stroller has a lift kit installed on it.

...your baby's stroller has a sticker on the back with Calvin peeing on a Chevy/Ford logo.

...your baby's stroller has an 80's era Trans Am "screaming chicken" sticker on it.

...you rock your baby to sleep at night singing Lynerd Skynerd's "Freebird".

...you've ever used your baby as collateral on a new truck.

...your wife ever scolded you for saying "Wooo Pig" to your baby before saying "I love you."

...you taught your baby to "Call the Hogs" while he/she was still in the womb.

...you think a c-section is right next to the smoking section.

...you dress your baby with clothes you bought using Marlboro miles.

...your wife didn't scold you for saying "Wooo Pig" to your baby before saying "I love you."

...you've wondered if your baby's first words will be the dog's name, mamma, or da da.

...one end of your baby's crib has an animal mounted on it.

...you found it in yourself to watch your baby's birth by thinking of cleaning game, because you normally can't stomach the sight of such mess.

...you've ever explained to your baby that, "What happens at duck camp, stays at duck camp."

...you've ever wondered if your other baby's mamma/daddy knows about your current baby's mamma/daddy.

...you've ever gotten in a fight because someone said your baby boy was "beautiful".

...you took your baby to the vet for his/her immunizations.

...your pediatrician has the letters "DVM" behind his/her name.

...you named your baby girl "Bessie" b/c you just like the name of the family cow so much.

...your baby's stroller is currently up on cinder blocks in the front yard b/c you're trying to find that squeek.

...there's an old, empty freon drum next to your baby's crib.

...you own a bib that has "No Fear!" embroidered on it.

...you use old pieces of carpet as a baby blanket.

...you refer to your baby as part of a litter.

...you use saw dust as a changing table.

...you've ever explained to your baby the intricacies of how "Rubbin is racin."

...the birth of your baby was announced over the loudspeaker at the local dirt track speedway.

...you compared your baby's birth weight to the largest bass you've ever caught.

...you have a sticker on the back of your car that reads, "My baby could kick your honor student's ass."

...you show pictures of your baby to friends and then immediately transition to showing them pictures of that 10 point you shot last year.

...you refer to your baby's weight in terms of the size of shotgun shells: "Well, he started off as a 4-10 but I've been mixing Crisco in with his formula so now he's up to a 10 guage."

...you tried to plan conception, and subsequent birth, around football/duck/deer season.

...you ever THOUGHT about planning conception, and subsequent birth, around football/duck/deer season.

...you hope you live long enough to see great grandbabies and to see the Hogs win a National Championship in football.

That last one's a freebie. You know that applies to me.