Goal Setting

Setting goals is important. We should all strive to improve our lot in life in some shape, form, or fashion. A man without a mission is no more useful than that fuzzy thing in the back of my refrigerator.

However, I infrequently made the concious effort to set goals until I came up here.

Therefore, I hereby knight thee (sic) a fuzzy piece of meat in the back of the fridge.

ALL HAIL PAPPA THE GOAL-LESS FUZZY MEAT!!!!

We now return to your regularly scheduled rant:

I never sat down and said, my goal is to go back to school. Now, I did say a couple of times that it would be cool to be a college professor but I never really said, "My goal is to be a college professor." In typical fashion, for me, I just decided I was going to go to school again and dumb lucked into good things.

God takes care of widows and fools. My grandmother likes to say she's both. I'm just one.

When I arrived in MI I began setting goals but these goals aren't what you might think they would be. I never set a goal of making straight A's while I was up here. I never set a goal of being a better husband (I'm perfect as it is...right?).

No, no, no. My goals are much more remedial than that and involve places I would like to live (read: characteristics of places I would like to live that are diametrically opposed to the characteristics of MI). Let me help you understand why I might have these goals. Reference the following high and low temperatures forecasted for Central MI.

SAT
13°F
-2°F

SUN
7°F
-1°F

MON
10°F
3°F

TUE
13°F
7°F

WED
16°F
6°F

THU
20°F
15°F

FRI
27°F
14°F

That's cold! Now back to the previous discussion of goals.

There is a river here that runs through campus. I walked over a bridge that passes over this river my first winter in MI and there were kids PLAYING HOCKEY ON THE FROZEN RIVER!!! Needless to say, this is not something you commonly see in AR, which leads to several goals:

Goal #1,343: Live someplace where bodies of water do not freeze to the extent that you may play hockey on them.

Goal #4,209: Live someplace where the average person cannot reasonably justify purchasing their own, personal pair of ice skates.

Goal #5,784: Live someplace where hockey is a relative afterthought.

There are several other goals:

Our apartment complex is opening it's own skating rink:

Goal #3,254: Live someplace where apartment complexes don't operate their own damned skating rinks.

This brings up the skate issue again. The apartment complex expects you to provide your own skates:

Goal #229: Live someplace where your apartment complex would never think that enough of their residents would own their own ice skates that said complex could just open a rink and say, "Come and get 'em!"

Further:

Goal #254: Live someplace where the following words seldom (read: NOT annually) come out of your mouth: "I sure will be ready for a day over 20 degrees."

Goal #421: Live someplace where the following words NEVER come out of your mouth: "I sure will be ready to see grass again. This snow has been on the ground for a month now."

With regard to food: MI has a strong northern European influence and hence the food is about as flavorful as a piece of posterboard.

Goal #832: Live someplace where people realize that the spice trade routes are now WIDE OPEN and you don't have to hire a world renowned explorer to get spices any more.

I'm sure I'll remember/think of more. When I do, you'll be the first to know. Ok, maybe you'll be the first. You'll be in the top 10. I promise.