That's what I've been trying to tell you

Anyone out there a fan of South Park? I used to be. Don't watch it anymore. Not becuase I have some sort of bent against the show, I just don't ever think about it and/or there are things I would rather watch when it's on.

Whether you're a fan of South Park or not, you've probably heard/seen the character named Cartman. Cartman is a fat, grumpy little kid who makes fun of Kenny the poor kid and hippies. While I don't subscribe to making fun of poor people, hippies have always been, and always will be, fair game.

(Side note: I was told by my freshman english professor that I use too many commas when I write. I'm sure that's the case as evidenced by the last sentence of the above paragraph, but I don't really care. Now that I think about it, my freshman english professor kind of looked like Cartman....but then again, I do too.)

Cartman has a very distinctive and humorous voice. In one South Park episode I remember, Cartman had spent the whole show (I think I remember this right) trying to convince his friends that aliens had put an anal probe in him. His friends didn't believe him but everytime they would turn their back flames would shoot out of Cartman's butt eliciting a scream from my man Cartman. He kept trying to tell them and trying to tell them and trying to tell them until finally this big satellite dish came out of his butt and his friends said something to the extent of, "Holy crap, Cartman! You've got an anal probe!" Cartman responded, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!!!"

Well, last night Pappa got some sleep because Grandma C volunteered to take 3rd shift with Junior (THANK YOU GRANDMA C!!!). Grandma C got about 3 hours sleep b/c Junior is red hot and ready ALL NIGHT LONG. Even the baby swing thing didn't work last night.

Now, I've been trying to tell everyone that this sweet little bundle of coos and joy that they see during the day is a completely different animal at night. I'm not saying they DIDN'T believe me, I'm just saying that sometimes you have to try things for yourself. Kind of like, "Hey, try this milk. It's sour." Or, "Hey, look at the sun. It's bright." Or, "Hey, taste this belly button lint..." OK, nobody has every really said that last one.

So I wake up this morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed, and my wife tells me that Junior must be having tummy problems.

"Why do you say that?", I ask.

"Because he was up all night and mom didn't get any sleep."

Well spit twice and call me Sally. No shemp, Sherlock. I could have told you that was going to happen. THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!!! That kid has tummy troubles about like I've got a craving for fish head soup (read: I do not have a craving for fish head soup).

Even with him IN the baby swing thing the best I've ever done is four hours sleep (MAYBE!) in two naps combined. The kid is nocturnal. He's a hamster. He jumps on his wheel about 10:30 PM every night and doesn't stop running on that thing until 8 AM the next day. I think he's going to grow up and be a night watchman or a DJ at a strip club.