I'm Home!!

Geez, travelling in winter is a pain. When I got to Regan National on Friday to fly home, the ice storm that belted the NE hit. All flights cancelled. So some others from MSU and I got a hotel for the night and then rented a car and drove home Saturday. I caught some bug and slept almost all day Sunday and took it easy most of the day yesterday. Anyway, I'm back at work today and feeling a lot better. Which is good because I have to go run 2 miles this afternoon for the marathon training.

On to the story from DC.

I arrived in DC around noon on Wednesday. Took a cab to the hotel b/c I had too much luggage to ride the Metro. I normally pack pretty light but I had my clothes bag, laptop bag, bag to carry my poster handouts, and my poster tube. The Feds get to foot my bill for the cab.

Got to the hotel and settled in. My hotel room had a porch on it facing North and when you step outside and look to the left, you see the Washington Monument. When you look to the right, you see the Capitol. It was an INCREDIBLE VIEW!!!

I had to go to a reception that night (which was held at the congressional office building!! That was pretty cool too.) at around 5:00 PM so I had a little time to kill. I therefore decided that I would go out and walk around. Specifically, I decided I wanted to walk to the Capitol. It was probably about 2 miles from my hotel and I set out.

I walked past some hippies protesting the war in front of the Capitol and resisted the urge to put a steel toe up their dope smoking rear ends.

I then decided I would see how close to the Capitol I could get. Surprisingly, you can get REALLY close. Like, on the front steps close. So, I then noticed that there were some people exiting the Capitol that looked to be on some type of tour (i.e. they really didn't look like they belonged inside the Capitol). At this point I wondered to myself, "Self, how might you get a tour of the Capitol?" I figured it would take an act of Congress to get one but I decided that the only way to find out was to ask one of the gentlemen standing at the front of the Capitol who happened to be carrying M-16s.

So I walk up to one of the guys carrying an M-16 and say, "Hey. I've got a stupid question for you. How do I get a tour of the Capitol?"

They were very cordial. They didn't shoot me or anything. I thought that was polite of them.

They told me that the tours were probably all booked for the day but that I could walk down to this white tent about 1/4 mile away and ask. So I walk down to the white tent, stand in line for about 2 minutes, get a free ticket, and stand in line for the tour that left about 10 minutes later!

We walk through some fairly touristy parts of the Capitol but it was really cool.

At the end of the tour they just kind of turn you loose to go wander around. That's a bad idea on their part. I'm curious as hell and generally have a fairly low regard for being told what to do (e.g. "Authorized Personnel Only Past This Point") so I set out to go see what trouble I could get in.

I'm wandering around the Capitol and see some meeting rooms. Nothing too exciting but it was pretty cool just seeing the place. The most famous person I walked past was Dennis Hastert. He didn't even say "hi" to me!! I can't imagine why?!?!?! Oh yeah, I know why. He doesn't know me from Adam.

I continue walking around and see a sign that says "Senate Balcony -->" and I was off to see if I could get on that balcony overlooking the Senate floor. Now, I know that you need a pass to do this but I thought I'd go check it out. When I got up there, sure enough, there was a (short) line of people who had these passes but there was an alternate entrance with a "Don't come in here unless you're Jesus, the President, or someone important" sign. I decided I was important enough to go in that way........I was wrong.

I took the approach that I would walk nonchalantly past that sign and try to look like I knew what I was doing. I got about 5 steps past the sign when a big dude in a suit with a mic in his ear said, "SIR! Where are you going?"

I really wasn't prepared for this guy to be there b/c he was kind of situated where you couldn't see him when you were out in the foyer. I had no option but to lay on the Southern accent and say, "WELL HI THERE!!! I'm just kinda wanderin' around. Do you know where the bathroom is?"

He didn't buy it. Oh, I'm sure he bought the Southern accent part. He just didn't buy it to the extent that he was going to let some dumb redneck wander around the Capitol.

"Sir, you need to turn around." he replied.

I had no choice but to say, "Alright then. Ya'll have a nice day now, ya hear!"

This same scenario polayed out about 4 more times. I'll be damned if the Capitol isn't well guarded! Who'd a thunk it?

One time, after getting turned away, I was walking off trying to find some other trouble to get into and I happened to look back over my shoulder and see a Capitol policeman walking about 3 steps behind me. I turned left. He turned left. I turned right. He turned right.

At this point I'm thinking, "Holy shemp! I'm about to get arrested in the U.S. Capitol! That's going to suck to have to tell my family that I got arrested in the Capitol." I could just see myself sitting in some dark, basement lock-up with a spotlight shining on my face getting interrogated by some guys in black suits. Thankfully, I don't think he was really after me as I finally lost my "tail".

I wandered around a little bit more but decided I had pressed my luck enough and went back to the hotel.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. The poster presentation went well. The conference was primarily attended by a bunch of "science" folks (i.e. chemists, biologists, etc...) and was therefore not really that interesting in that I didn't have a clue what many of them were talking about.

I've already covered the pain in the rear that was getting home so this pretty much concludes my trip.

Good time. Love DC! I could spend about a week or more there going through all the museums and stuff.

Glad to be home!

Junior is doing great! I need to post more pictures don't I?!??!??!??!??!!!!